one-note, flat, and enabling

nhl commentators love to be like “and how did you know he would be there to receive that pass? did you feel him? would you know him by touch alone, by smell” and then the guy’s like “i looked”

Thinking about how Carey Price already had the tickets booked to go to Montréal to carry the torch. Look at what we could’ve had.

you can sit on your mutual’s couch. if you’re lucky. and then. if god smiles on you. you can take a nap with their cat

hockey players complimenting each other about looking huge/bulking up during the offseason feels similar to what it would sound like if bears could congratulate each other about preparing well for winter. like good job with the weight gain bro. that’ll increase your odds of survival for sure

"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other

when you get to the heaven i believe in they're gonna ask if you ever sent deranged, antisocial anonymous messages on tumblr dot com and many people aren't getting through those pearly gates

I just think if you put your story in an interesting setting with implications and then never interact with those implications and encourage your fans not to interact with those implications I should be allowed to idk chase you with an axe for a bit or hire a clown to stand outside your bedroom window while you sleep

they should've just been accountants at rival firms and both nick suzuki and i would be living much improved lives

ok guys im leaving tumblr for a bit. everyone be normal

good job yall I think we scared em off