Just Useless

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

reblog if you love archive of our own and how they firmly refuse to let censorship have any place on their platform

do you ever tell people you’ll be going to sleep but then you don’t and you have to not do anything noticable online for the sake of it seeming as if you didn’t lie to them

this post is classic tumblr in a lot of ways but the one I appreciate the most is that the second post happened eleven years after the first one. one of these days I’m going to see a reply to a post by someone younger than the post itself and we’re all just going to have to deal with it

I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…

Concept: a mermaid who collects human artifacts, but, like, exclusively objects that humans have dramatically cast into the sea in moments of high emotion, catharsis, or personal revelation. Each item is carefully mounted above a little index card that outlines the circumstances of its hurling in terse, clinical prose.

How many outdated cellphones does she have from businessmen who realize that Family is more important?

Fewer than you’d think. For a variety of fascinating demographic and cultural reasons, importance-of-family cell phones are considerably more likely to be hurled into lakes than oceans. She’s co-authored a paper on the subject that’s due to be published next month.

I hope it’s been pier reviewed

a scene must be included PRIOR to sex where the characters READ their birth certificates OUT LOUD so the reader will know they were born on the SAME DATE to avoid any disgusting AGE GAPS

"actively hungry" + "none of the foods sound good at all" is one of the worst combinations. who let this happen

you need like $300 just to buy basic every day things every other week.. what the fuck

The treasures of the wild (berries) have no price, but they do not come without cost. The forest accepts no money, I paid for these berries with a pint of my own blood (the mosquitoes fucking got me).

when people are like “he’s not even attractive you could find a guy that looks like him at any gas station” i’m like….. well you see there’s beauty everywhere actually

You can also find a sunset at a gas station

oh my god