Salt

rb to give a snout-out to the gays

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

Vader still hates sand but that's because it clogs his chest filter thingy

shakespeare would understand me taking two of his background characters and making them fuck nasty. he would get it

i like pineapple on pizza but i don't like that i like it. That combination of ingredients shouldn't taste good. This same mentality also leads me to conclude that i should never try strawberry on pizza as i'd risk uncovering some sort of forbidden knowledge that will pull my soul out of my eyesockets if i embrace it

You’re gonna lose your shit when you try marshmallows on pizza.

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

#👀🤨👈🤗👩‍🍳

THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED FOR TAX PURPOSES, I'M TELLING YALL

One of my biggest “tinfoil hat” conspiracy theories that I believe with my whole chest is that many, if not most, of the beauty standards surrounding women’s bodies are artificially plugged into the media by abusers whose sole purpose is to make women as easy to oppress as possible. They tell you that you should be delicate and skinny because it’s harder to fight back that way.