all of my alternate universe selves are dead

hate when im reading and theres a word i dont know so i search it in the dictionary and its like: beuperer. noun. a person who beupers. i'll fucking kill you

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

I'm going to fix everything in the next three hours everyone wish me luck. if i dont then probably ill dig a hole and lie down in it for a bit in the rain/sun/whatever outside looks like these days

the hole isnt even that bad

on a scale of nothingburger to everything bagel

there’s a t-shirt that says “I survived a bad day and all I got was the rest of my life” and yeah I still think about it

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this

Asunder is basically the most classic way to be torn, and if you're looking to be cleft, in twain is a vintage but stunning choice