This poem will make you understand this unfathomable truth again and again, as if for the very first time. —Emily Wilson, Introduction to The Iliad

Water Himbo

Earth Himbo

Fire Himbo

Woke up at 4-6 AM and apparently did the dishes

Fiance gets up at 8:00AM, allegedly has fully cognizant conversation with me about his plans to stay late and tutor classmates. I don’t remember even being awake.

at 9:32 AM, my Dad called me and i had a 23-minute phone call with him that I have no recollection of, but apparently I spent most of it discussing the merits and drawbacks of the various tablets my mother is interested in.  I was mad about how expensive updating storage capacity was for most of them.

Felling way more sober than I actually am, attempt to drive to school at 10:12.  and spend enough time confused why my keys aren’t working on my car that my neighbor actually comes out of his apartment to ask what I’m doing to his car.  I decide to stay home.

10:40: Send emails to professors to tell them I’m in no shape to be in class.  I think I am eloquent. Upon opening my email later I realize I’ve sent them emails with the subject line “fuckt up” and message: “sorry, love you.”

Benefits of going to a small college: they know I’ve got exciting drug reactions already and are sick as well and reply with “I understand and hope you are feeling well soon, here is today’s lecture slides” and “lol” respectively.

~11- 12:30 : Get lost in neighborhood walking dog.  In my defense, it’s 99% off-beige generic prefab housing on nonlinear-bordering-on-noneuclidean streets and Charlie had no interest in going home either.

12:30-3:00: Wall

3:00 : phone alarm goes off and I suddenly realize fiance was supposed to be home an hour and a half ago. Fly into immediate panic, try to find phone to call him and/or the sherrif becuase he’s obviously dead in a ditch or something.  I am holding my phone the whole time.

3:16 : Fiance gets home, I cry like a bitch, the dog also cries, everyone has a really bad 15 minutes.

3:33 : Realize I haven’t actually ate or drank yet today. Immediately consume a quart of apple cider and plate of taquitos.  Make pork chops and potatoes and don’t stop talking about what happens if a werewolf has sex with a dog while shifted the entire time.

4:00: pass out on couch to the soothing sounds of Mario Oddesy

1AM: Why is it thursday?

I didn’t take anything Except the Nyquil the previous night.

This happens to me with most sinus medication- benadryl, children’s cold meds, nasal sprays etc. 

According to my Psychiatrist, some people with ADHD, Bipolar, Depression or TBI can have really weird reactions to sinus drugs because they fuck with your sleep/wake cycle, though the exact mechanisms are unknown.  

Out here, “Apple Cider” is apple juice made with the skin left in, the boozy stuff is called “Hard Cider”

“Wall” refers to the act of lying on one’s side, staring at the spackle with nary a thought in one’s skull. It’s soothing, except for the part where you don’t actually feel like anything. 0/10, not reccomended.

My 4 year old nephew loves to paint his nails. Any time he sees someone wear nail polish he asks if he can have some too. The most difficult part is getting him to decide what color, because he he wants all of them.

The kid’s favorite football player responded with support.

Let’s say you need an outdated queer theory textbook that uses biphobic and cissexist rhetoric for your gender studies thesis, but you don’t particularly want to own that book.

Let’s say you need a primary source to strengthen your argument to your college as to why a certain political figure does not deserve to be a speaker at your graduation because they perpetuate hate speech.

Let’s say you and your friends want to hateread a book by your least favorite author but you don’t want to give him your money.

And I found one in the college library.  An original slave-owner’s apologia from eighteen hundred or so.

Nasty stuff.  But studying the mechanics of evil is a useful pursuit.  One that has relevance in today’s world, certainly.

(My African-American Studies professor thought so too; he gave me an A.)

The point being, no matter how bad a book is, there is value in preserving it—if only to demonstrate, “This, this right here, this is a bad thing.“  Mein Kampf?  Worth picking through to note the psychology of a depraved leader.  (Did you know that Hitler framed every damn thing as a war, including farming, which he characterized as wrestling food from an unwilling land, or some such bullshit?  Might be a characteristic worth paying attention to.  Be cautious about leaders who use “war” rhetoric for things that aren’t actually wars, such as … oh, to pull an example out of a hat, how about “drugs.”)  Slavery apologia?  Leans heavily into Biblical justification, from the one I read, so maybe, just maybe, we should examine Biblical justifications very carefully.  Even the worst stuff teaches us things.

The libraries in my city host ‘English as a Secondary Language’ classes, cooking classes, classes on how to use that 3D printer, local history classes, responsible naturalistic gardening classes, beekeeping classes, and all sorts of other fun topics. Plus the plethora of clubs that use the library conference rooms as their meeting place. 

All for free. 

I know it’s aesthetically pleasing to stay up until all hours of the morning reading Shakespeare, but when you have school/work at 8 the next morning its just not a good idea. Instead, can we romanticize waking up with the sun, feeling refreshed and ready to absorb as much knowledge as you can. Go to bed an hour earlier, and sit in your room reading by candlelight. Blow the candles out so you can light them again before sunrise in the morning.

Similarly, I know coffee as black as the void is pleasing, but sometimes you just need to drink water. Coffee is great, but the caffeine will dehydrate you. Balance it with drinking water. Put little bits of lemon, orange, or other citrus in your water. It’l keep your mind sharp and ready to debate the morality of Tolstoy. 

Don’t forget to eat. Eat. Food. It’s Important. Snack on something while you study, fitting in food where you can. Sneak in a poem by Bronte while waiting for your food to heat up. Read while you eat, propping the book up in front of you and pausing to turn the pages. Talk through theories while cooking. Just. Please eat.