awk w/ a side of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

not my boss coming to me to ask if i knew about my coworker quitting over the weekend but going about it like “i assume you’ve already heard but i want you to know the full story because i’m very protective of you. always have been”

my mean evil nasty coworker is in my ear like the devil telling me lies and trying to get me to quit, i guess. in her mind.

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

Me: Doctor, why is that syringe filled with glitter? Doctor: Anaesthetic.

oh

PERCHED💅🏼

We should all be in fear of anyone strong enough to balance and literally support their entire mass in that pose on tiptoes.

She ain’t even wearing a decent heel support like the lady behind her. No, this queen is wearing goddamn stilettos. You know how hard it is to walk in stilettos, let alone balance your weight on one foot? And she’s doing more than that, she’s literally resting all her weight on that foot. This is insane, she could kick all of our asses.

Shes smiling.

She knows the power she wields

I laughed waaaay to hard at this

lets say, hypothetically, im a cat. a kitty cat. and for the sake of debate, lets say i dance dance dance.

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I’m sorry if this is homophobic but why would someone need 69 moms

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