god’s least favourite fag

girl asks me to use her like a toy so i put her in a row with several other girls sorted by name alphabetically & sit there silently looking at her

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

tumblr should add a "what the fuck are you talking about" button alongside reply, like, and reblog. you click the what the fuck are you talking about button when op is on some discourse they brought back from another reality that no one on this earth has ever heard of. and if a post gets more what the fuck are you talking abouts than reblogs op gets muted for 12 hours

jellyfish have to be kept in a round tank because if they're in a tank with corners they'll get stuck in them. I think that's beautiful. god's stupidest little plastic bags (affectionate)

look I say this selfishly but also rationally, we should be sending social scientists to space. I think we need people to study what happens to tiny communities of nerds hundreds of thousands of miles from Earth and I think I should be one of them

cats will be sitting there next to a full bowl of food looking at you like "perchance if thou will grant me the smallest morsel of sustenance I may yet survive the cruelty of this cold night"

I'm a sucker for a good "you think you're in one horror subgenre but it's actually a different horror subgenre". character struggling to accept that maybe demons are tormenting them suddenly finds out it's actually aliens. trope of all time tbh

The most intuitive, most versatile, most adaptive, and greatest artists of our time are using their skills to create discomforting, high-concept abstractions of analog horror characters and Pack Of 500 Cigarettes in Tomodachi Life

Tumblr banned porn to appeal to advertisers only to exclusively host ads for links you wouldn't touch even while wearing full PPE