Slime Territory

It's Friday. Can you guess what I'm in?

tv show. white man. hes sad. he has to do important thing but its hard. his girlfriend died probably. TWSIT!! theres another white man. maybe MORE. hes sad too but for different reason. its very deep probably. theyre best friends but not gay but maybe they are haha fandom!!! every girl dies or goes away. just not gay white man friend. 10 seasons 100 million viewers. what will moody white men do this week.

This post just turned 10 years old which is pretty fucked up actually. When I made this post people would say things like “actually supernatural only has 8 seasons” but here we are in 2023 so who’s laughing now. Not me I want to die

i cant believe that there's still gamergate STANK on games that women enjoy. NASTY misogyny residue. stardew valley is in fact a video game. animal crossing is also a video game. so are otome games and dating sims and twee little cozy games. sometimes a bitch doesnt wanna play bloodborne that shit's hard

guys who mainly play 2k and fortnite will still be like oh youre not a real gamer for having 1000 hours in stardew. mother fucker you're larping as a basketball player

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

Minions stop this post from reaching 1k

On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!

*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?

I’m normal. Ask me anything. I’ll show you.

I've got a headache, but I don't want to get up to take painkillers. What do I do?

You’re going to get a drill press and a 3/8” flat bottom forstner bit, and you’re going to verrrrry gently trepan yourself.

I'm gonna get phthaloplasty. Oh yeah my shit's all gonna be a serene sea green, or perhaps a tidal blue

Evil hentai scientist voice: Now that I've captured you, I'm going to transform you into a dick girl sex servant with my experimental aphrodisiac! Mwahaha!!! Wait. Why do you already have a dick? Have you been captured before? Was it the guy with tentacle arms? He's been stealing test subjects from me ever since we went to hentai science school together. That bastard.

oooooo what a cool post my mutual just reblogged ! I think I will reblog it as well !!! oooooh who did they reblog it from ? That username seems familiar,,, hohoho it's me ! from an hour ago !

I’m normal. Ask me anything. I’ll show you.

should i make chilli tonight? i don't have any chillis tho but everything else

Jerk off into a jalapeño

I’m not trying to turn your kids trans; that’s stupid. I’m trying to turn them into socialists.

#for real tho! their gender is their business but class struggle is everyone’s business

a lot of people don’t tell you this when you’re starting to remodel your own home but occasionally under the floorboards you’ll find the entrance to an unimaginably sprawling and vast complex of underground lakes connected to each other through intricate networks of tunnels where suburbanite mermaids have set up mermaid strip malls with mermaid verizon, mermaid driving school, the mermaid liquor store, and so on. and many people will think this is a plumbing issue, but it’s actually a zoning problem

hot take possibly? but i actually think it’s okay for things to be marketed for adults. it’s literally okay if things aren’t suitable for children. i feel like we are losing the plot

Correct. Furthermore: children bending or breaking the rules to get a peek at something that's not intended for them is a part of growing up.

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert