Slime Territory

Bet it feels good as fuckkk to rest your hand on the pommel of your sword when the newcomer steps a little too close to your lord who you’ve sworn to protect with your life

dead wife who was MEAN and slept without a TOP SHEET and only went to the beach when it was OVERCAST to SCOWL at the waves

fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

I don't want to buy mass-produced garbage from a big box store so I go to etsy but half of etsy is now dropshipped mass-produced garbage or AI slop so I go to the local arts and crafts street market but a ton of those booths are also selling the same generic plastic objects or identical stickers or 3D printed dragons so WHERE do I buy real trinkets and art from sincere freaks

Quick shout out to the Down syndrome kid from my after-school program back when I was in grade school. Like yea he had the usual issues but he was a sweetheart and quite funny; and one day both his parents showed up at the same time to pick him up and I had the experience of meeting a family of genetically disabled people that had jobs and a home and a kid in school and it was a profoundly normalizing experience for me like I couldn’t take eugenicists seriously after that because like “no they totally can have whole entire meaningful lives with marriage and children and work and hobbies have you not met Dennis??” Anyway quick shout out to Dennis you were a real one

I know people wanted the post credit scene for the DnD movie to be the actors playing the game, but I think it would have been infinitely funnier if it was instead the characters at a table trying desperately to figure out the date for their next heist. Next weekend? No, there's a festival. Tuesday. No, have a tournament. Any time in the next month??? Nope, there's some noble that half the group already agreed to go rough up, they'll be out of town. Oh hey a letter from Xenk, he can come on Thursdays. Are you penpals with Xenk?! Don't worry about it.