This is mine. And I shall call it Mine.

everyone in college is eccentric. everyone

you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you

everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette

multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!

wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm

no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere

If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it’s juice and be Jealous

“Oh god I’m a monster” 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say “same” simultaniousely and with the exact same tone

Everything is a joke so if u say “I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind” someone will go “lol what a mood”

It would take u like 100 years to major in everything

Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascot

Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they’ll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u

College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature

Literally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that always has gum and a stapler

If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major

Keeps a jar of your native soil around? Oh, like the botany guys, just keep quiet if you try and grow weed in it

Slip up and speak antiquated form of Romanian? “Yeah, man, I have language midterms this week too”

Research campus probably has a hospital FULL of easily-accessible blood, to say nothing of campus blood drives

Who is like AW MAN YOU TOOK THE LAST AB- THAT’S THE BEST ONE

10 year old me, absolutely overthinking the shit out of this: but it feels wrong to do good deeds only to gain something in return, isn’t it inherently bad if my reason for helping isn’t just to help but so I can boast about it in a notebook?

14 year old me, staring at my paper: how am i supposed to do that when we only summed up what happened? what are the details someone experiencing this would focus on? what were the opinions of people about that? what words that are long since out of fashion would I use? what was the culture like back then and what references would someone make? If I don’t do it it sounds unrealistic and fake can we please do more research first

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