angel ranger decoy ghost

love that kids are emo again. i love walking into the grocery store or goodwill and seeing some teenage emo kid all decked out walking around with their mom or something

Last time i was in baltimore i stepped on a pregnant rat

addicted to lying

Its name was your name actualy

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

@kittybroker

Elite card master hard on that gaming grind once more! Pick up this master kitty for only $52.99!

i told my dad the joke “dad jokes are just mom jokes that a man repeated louder” and he thought it was hilarious. he turned to my mother, intending to relay the joke to her, and a bare second after he opened his mouth i watched it dawn on his face that he was about to become the subject of the joke. when i tell you that man was slackjawed as he turned back to me, like he had an entire life altering realization in the span of about 20 seconds.