birb rhetorician prime

june is over... goodbye pride month, hello disability pride month!!

let's all be disabled this month... together 🤝

if you're not disabled yet: no need to worry! i can help. come closer.

I like this meme because the stock photos make it seem like the same woman but 10 years older.

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

through manifesting we can assure the USA loses against bosnia and herzegovina tomorrow. we must eliminate the evil before usamericans get too annoying about it. we cannot let a team win from a country that dgaf about football until it’s in their backyard. besides it would be all too sweet if USA was eliminated by a country 99% of usamericans could not locate on a map

BEGIN MANIFESTING NOW ‼️

the part of adulthood that no one ever warns you about is the amount of surfaces you need to acquire to put your things and trinkets on

imagine this 💭: open your eyes 🫵 CLOSE 'EM 🙂‍↕️ now open your MENTAL EYE 👁️ right? you are in a BUS DEPOT 🚏🚌 in the DEPTHS of boston chinatown 🏮🌆 you get the opportunity to take a $10-15 💸 bus that will take you to new york 🗽 in UNDER four hours ⏱️ sometimes THREE 🏃💨 it's like the concorde of buses ✈️ this thing's going a hundred miles— BIG bus, too🫸↔️🫷not a small bus 🤏 BIG ol' bus 🙌💪 HUNDRED miles an hour 💯 on the speedway 🛣️ sometimes? catching fire 🔥🧯 don't sit in the back 👈 don't sit in the front 👉 you will hit things 🧳⚠️ and things will hit you 🤕🔨 the bus? might explode 💥💥💥 THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS ✋ your business is GETTING TO NEW YORK 🫡 and then you do :)

How would you describe a dragon to someone who has never seen a dragon?

sometimes you go on tumblr to get beat up by genies, sometimes you are the genie inviting people to stand single file to get a pie to the face

Smug face of a free man