happy Valentine’s Day! they are putting a heart lollipop into your paper bag. ✨

pixel skylines
Xuebing Du
Not today Justin
i don't do bad sauce passes
hello vonnie

will byers stan first human second
$LAYYYTER

Cosimo Galluzzi
noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
DEAR READER

ellievsbear

Love Begins
Cosmic Funnies
Three Goblin Art

Discoholic 🪩
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@thoughtzoo
happy Valentine’s Day! they are putting a heart lollipop into your paper bag. ✨

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Dear adultier adult. Managed to ash a soup (not even any lumps left) by accidentally leaving it cooking while I was at work. Luckily house did not burn down. Trying to deal with the lesser consequences. Aired the house until the sun went down and it got way too cold. Any suggestions for getting rid of smoke smell? Pot is currently sitting on a metal chair outside, future me will have to decide if it's worth trying to salvage. Sigh.
Oh heck. I’m so sorry to hear that!
I am by no means an adultier adult, and my first recommendation is obviously to fling the offending pot onto the neighbor’s property, shed all of your electronic devices and your outer layer of skin, change your name to the sound of water running over pebbles, get on a bus and escape to the forest to live your natural life as a beautiful wild snake that drowns men in sparkling mossy pools and never looks at soup again.
If you can’t do that, then you could also take another pot and simmer a solution of water and vinegar on the stove. Abandon the remains of the previous pot (it betrayed you, and is faithless) and wash anything washable that the smoke-smell has permeated. Cleaning blogs will chirpily suggest baking soda and vinegar on everything. They’re pretty weird folks, those cleaning bloggers, but it might make you feel better.
It was a really good idea, though, the whole soup/work thing, it’s a shame it all went to hell. A slow cooker could be a good investment. This could be the beginning of a beautiful story about you and your slow cooker.
I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I have no idea why you came to me with this but thank you??? I’m??? so sorry??? If you want, I can back you up if you want to tell your friends/family/neighbors that a meteorite hit your house and vaporised exactly one pot.
Also I’m really glad your house didn’t catch fire. What an unexpectedly great bonus today. Today your house could have burned down! And it didn’t!
5th Anniversary of the soup pot anon who indirectly led to the captioning of an item in Flight Rising
I can’t remember exactly what the initial “bury the evidence” advice was about but we joked about it enough at the time that this made sense
21st century Thalidomide.
the two people i tried to be
to my body, im sorry it took destroying you twice to realize you are not the enemy
You keep sending assassins after me but I kiss every one of them on the lips so sweetly
I love you this much!
Hello! I am the I love you bot! I tell you I love you in different ways! Beep!
nice try assassin! *kisses you so tenderly*

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choose your fighter
Why not both?
It’s the greatest video I’ve ever filmed
I was so confused for a second but this is so cute
these are alive they have souls

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GLORIOUS AMERICAN BEVERAGE, RECARBONATED OVER TEN THOUSAND TIMES
That is just an atrocious sword, huh?
Or maybe we should think twice about what we put in our bodies
me checking the bottoms of very expensive ceramic plant pots for drainage
trying to explain what daylight savings time is but they just keep staring at me like I’m a fucking idiot who can’t read a clock. IM NOT WRONG YOU ARE.
!!
they call it saw because you SAW the movie
nothing fills my heart with more violence than the sight of a naked wrapping paper roll
this is how Cain killed Abel
reblog to bonk the person you reblogged it from on the head

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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job interviews feel so weirdly degrading it's like you're asking to be exploited and they still reject you