SayItOrRoar

For people saying ‘it’s tragic, Dex and Em only got 3 years together’ no. They got 15 years together.

Glossing over the span of their life together to sum it up as ‘only 3 years together’ misses all the love and time they had together that wasn’t solely romantic.

Why is their relationship only ‘important’ or ‘counts’ when it’s a romantic one? Maybe there was always romantic love buried in there or growing steadily but there was a whole lot of platonic love there too.

For 15 years they were the most important person in the world to one another, they described each other as their ‘best friend’ and the person they reached out to at every high and low moment. And for the last 3 of those years they were also a couple.

There are loads of examples of Dex reaching out to Em when he’s at his lowest: the last birthday with his mum, then he’s reeling from his divorce, when he’s scared people will hate him on TV. And you *could* read that as pathetic and Em being his emotional crutch, with Dex latching into her. But you could *also* see that as when you’re struggling and low, you just want your best friend. Because they *get* you. And part of being a best friend is being there in those low moments.

And Em has done the same with Dex, just in different ways. That first year out of uni Em had no idea what she was doing; in a job she couldn’t wait to leave, a relationship that didn’t make her happy, not sure where she was going in life or what she was doing. Em writes to Dex often, and doesn’t need him to reply to her, just to read her letters and be *her* emotional crutch and person to vent to.

Even at that breakup-dinner, Em has things she ‘needs to talk about’ and she’s reached out to Dex to do it. We don’t see her discussing it with Tilly, we see her trying to talk about it with Dex. She’s at arguably her lowest moment (hates her job, hates her partner, hates her home) and she wants her best friend to listen to her. Just like he did when she was 24 and thinking about giving up and leaving London, and Dex convinced her to stay and keep going.

So they are emotional crutches *to one another*. That’s also part of being someone’s best friend.

And for all the low moments Dex also wanted to share his best moments with her too: when he’s excited about the TV pilot he calls Em to say ‘the only person I want to share this with is you’, and begs Em to find a way to be there. Yes this is also him dismissing and ignoring her achievements, yes this is self absorbed and rude and at the height of his egomania, but in that moment of triumph he only wants his best friend there with him.

When they see one another again at Tilly’s wedding Em is brave and self assured when she reveals she’s ‘thought of you every day, missed you every day’, and that even though they are friends again now the fact that Dex will have a wife and child ‘feels a bit like loosing you all over again. Because people with families have different priorities…’ That’s how close they were before.

The sentiment that ‘we grew up together’ is really true, for the both of them. They were very different people throughout their lives, and if they had tried to be a romantic couple earlier there is no guarantee that version of them would have lasted the course.

Would Emma have stayed with a peak-of-his-tv-fame Dex, partying and living life ‘to the full’? Or would they have explosively ended and decided they were too different for one another for it to ever work?

Would Dex have even tried for a career in TV or a full year of travelling if he’d become a couple with Emma after Uni? Or would he have done something else but grown resentful of what-could-have-been?

If they had sorted out their issues and apologised after their fight and Em had left Ian, would Em have found the strength to turn rock bottom into a spring board and finally write her book? Would she have even hit that bottom at all? Or would the hook have remained a pipe dream while she continued as a teacher, happy with Dex but professionally unfulfilled?

We will never know what could have been, and that doesn’t necessarily make those alternatives the ‘better’ option that they ‘missed out on’.

Maybe they would only ever have had 3 years together as a couple and getting it in their mid 30’s the way they did was their most mature and peaceful version.

Emma was so much more than just his wife or the love of his life. She was arguably the only person that he could talk to honestly. And when she died, he had no one to talk to about his feelings about his grief. Because she was the one he always went to with that and now she’s gone.

I think this relates back to his relationship with his mom, who is probably the only person he saw himself in. And when his mom died, he didn’t know how to handle it. This is the same with Emma.

Emma was the most intimate, deepest relationship he had. And when he lost that relationship, he lost himself. When he lost Emma, he lost not only his past or his present, but the future they were building together, the future he envisioned for them.

it’s one of the great cosmic mysteries. how it is that someone can go from being a total stranger, to being the most important person in your life.

Seriously when did this

Become sexier than this

"Jack of all trades, master of none" ... "but ofttimes better than a master of one."

"Blood is thicker than water." "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb."

"Birds of a feather flock together- until the cat comes." - The first part gets quoted a lot in a "find your people" kind of way, but the full quote is a warning about basing relationships on "feathers" (looks, surface details, etc) only.

"Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back." - The first part is often used like a warning against curiosity, but the full quote encourages it.

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." - The first part is often used to get people to do stuff first/fast/early, but the full saying imparts that sometimes, not being the first can work out better.

"Rome wasn't built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour." - The first part is often quoted in a "cool it/relax/stop" type way, but the full quote encourages slow and steady progress.

Y’all it’s confirmed….

Hoechlin picked Vince to play Eli is because Vince’s reminded him of Dylan/Stiles.

Stereks keep fucking winning!

Counterculture movements only occur when the culture has imbalanced itself to favor one group over another.

Ergo, Goths are the cultural canary in the coal mines.

NELLIE BLY. HER NAME IS NELLIE BLY.

You know what else she did??

Saved a ton of mental hospital patients from persistent & sickening abuse. She went in undercover, and the doctors, nurses, orderlies, etc trrated her like all the others. They essentially said ‘Who cares if you don’t like hiw we treat you? No one will ever hear you or believe you!’

Wanna bet? said Nellie Bly

Nellie was a fucking hero. You put some respect on Nellie Bly’s name.

so anyway answer my poll

then make a shitty version of the thing and keep making it better! Read a bunch of books/watch a bunch of speed paints, copy them, steal their talent!! Take a class, adopt a mentor, watch the world and study everything you see!

Barter for it! Steal it! Break it, remake it, fight for it!

he studied other writers to find out how to do stuff good

he’s considered a master of the english poets [Samuel Taylor Coleridge] and might have invented lesbian vampires [Christabel] but he did it by copying others until he got confident enough to do it without having to copy