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@transtessbian

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functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I
Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.
now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"
Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...
It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people
you deserve a life you aren’t constantly recovering from
Hot take but praise is a good tool for encouraging healthy behavior. Positive reinforcement is good. Relying exclusively on punishment to change people's behavior is both cruel and ineffective. If someone does better than they did yesterday, let them know you appreciate it, let them know that they're improving!
"Don't praise anyone for doing the bare minimum" is a shitty take that prioritizes your sense of superiority over the actual betterment of people. I understand that things shouldn't be as bad as they are, and anger can often be justified, but you need to get over the propaganda that kindness is naïve, that cynicism and bitterness are intellectual. Withholding praise from those who haven't caught up with you doesnt actually help them, it doesn't motivate, it doesn't encourage, it only discourages them. It breeds bitterness and apathy, which are antithetical to empathy.
Growth isn't something you do on your own. People need support, they need community. Bootstraps won't get them there. Kindness will. Do you want results or do you just want to feel superior?
!!!!!!!!!!!
This isn't up for debate. We have the studies. Positive reinforcement is far & away the most successful method to not only change behavior but KEEP it changed long term. One of the most important things I learned for my psych degree.
Hello, I work for a large moderately evil corporation and for at least five years now I have to sign a yearly thing to say I will never ever have one of these devices in the same room as me while I work.
My large moderately evil employer takes it for granted that these things are spying on me at all times, and you should too.

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What helped me write trauma better is remembering that the nervous system learns predictions. If danger used to come after quiet, calm can feel threatening. If kindness used to come with a price, kindness can feel suspicious. So healing is not just “they know they’re safe now.” Healing is the slow, annoying, deeply unfair process of teaching the body that the old prediction is not always the present truth.
how many nonbinary people have come out publicly only to then semi re-closet themselves because people are so incapable of not being extremely exorsexist towards them immediately... ive seen this happen to nonbinary people across agab we cannot catch a damn break
also the way people tend to see misgendering nonbinary as like. "softer" or easier or more understandable than misgendering a binary trans person. like it doesn't even really matter, because it's basically just an aesthetic choice, and not anything to be taken that seriously
#i remember when mr beard came out and immidiately had to go back in the closet#because people were giving him shit for not changing his presentation or pronouns#its really sad
forgot about mr. beard but yeah that made so upset on his behalf!!!!!
and what's annoying is how often binary trans people just don't seem to react? like this is what i mean by people treat misgendering nonbinary people as "softer." a trans man or a trans woman getting harassed back into the closet is a tragedy, a nonbinary person getting harassed back into the closet is just another wednesday for a lot of binary trans people.
#yeah.#and then when we stand up for ourselves we’re ‘difficult’ and no longer ‘one of the fun chill ones’#i can be chill#but im entitled to the same god damn respect and i will insist upon it#get yourselves right i’m fucking tired
no this too. i do feel there's this. expectation. that all nonbinary people will be rather apathetic about their genders, that the "good" nonbinary people (who isn't "crazy" and "dramatic" and "trying so hard to be woke") don't really care about what pronouns or nouns you use, will be binarize themselves in whatever way is easiest for the binary people & system around them, will be largely unobtrusive about their gender unless it can be a funny joke for binary people (even "inclusive" ones).
& then this feeds into what i described above, binary trans people & cis allies treating nonbinary people being misgendered or going back in the closet as less serious and less tragic and less disruptive than binary people. the assumption that nonbinary people somehow have less stake in being trans, that we never physically transition, that we never have dysphoria, etc. instead of being horrified that recloseting or never coming out ever is so common that so many nonbinary people are so used to repressing their own wants and needs preemptively. using pronouns they don't really connect with just to not be seen as "unreasonable" but it doesn't hurt as bad if its not technically misgendering. there's a lot of pain in the nonbinary community that i think we have never been allowed to fully voice.
#exorsexism#i know this is usually about misgendering enbies as their assigned genders#but. i keep distancing myself from transfemininity bc people keep using it as an excuse to misgender me as a Girl#i dont want to be called she or girl or sister but people act like The Default Transfem has to be a girl when talking about her problems#im not a girl or a woman! or a puppy creature robot notperson thing! im not any online transfem stereotype! im an enby person!#and it's honestly really upsetting to be put into another stereotyped gendered box by other trans people#my gender doesnt mean i hate transfem girls or creatures or things! im just not one of them! people online dont get this
this post is ABSOLUTELY including misgendering enbies as the "opposite" gender btw. it is no less fucked up & i'm really sorry you have to deal with
personally i've started thinking maybe we could use a neologism, similar to malgendering for misgendering, to describe the kind of forced detransitioning/conversion therapy that nonbinary/genderqueer people are subjected to, where the goal is not to make them cis but to make them binary and thus palatable to cisness through forced binary transitioning.
also here's a hot take. we talk way less about this ^ kind of misgendering because its something that unites nonbinary people regardless of gender we were raised as. when you just focus on misgendering-as-perceived-sex you group trans men&mascs with nonbinary people raised female and trans women&fems with nonbinary people raised male. but what is described above is exactly what i have heard from nonbinary people who are transmasculinized.
a lot of people don't understand that just because you say you accept nonbinary people doesn't mean you don't subconsciously see our genders as less real! like trans people should not have to be begging OTHER trans people to understand that they aren't the gender they aren't. nonbinary people can feel dysphoria in "both directions" and it really sucks that only one direction seems to matter to many other trans people!!!
Dips you into the river of hrt but I have to hold onto you to do so, so you end up mostly super happy and gender affirmed but you're REALLY dysphoric about your right ankle
"these researchers published a paper on something that literally any of us could have told you 🙄" ok well my supervisors wont let me write something in my thesis unless I can back it up with a citation so maybe it's a good thing that they're amplifying your voice to the scientific community in a way that prevents people from writing off your experiences as annecdotal evidence
they did the research in the first place because they believed you and wanted to tell people about it. they are not our enemies.
people always go "Instead of spending all that time on a study they could have just listened to us when we said these thing happen"
they did listen, that's how studies work, they asked people about their experiences and put all the data together in a nice package that can be cited
People forget studies typically start with a hypothesis and the hypothesis is usually "the people who deal with this are right about their experiences and we should listen to them"
i think something a lot of people don't get is that years of mocking your child, even in jest, does in fact tend to get under their skin
a decade or two of even light verbal harassment is very much accentuated when it's an authority figure you are in every meaningful way subservient to

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We're at the "JK Rowling is personally funding litigation to try and destroy AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL" stage of rabid UK terf brain.
Screenshot via Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net on bluesky
Tldr Amnesty International, global human rights organisation, published a report called 'A growing threat: the anti-rights movement in the UK'. In it is detailed, amongst others, a whole bunch of transphobic groups and organisations, including Beira's Place, JK Rowling's trans exclusionary sexual violence support service. JK Rowling threw a shit fit and got Amnesty to take the report down by threatening libel. This was obviously not enough, because you can't appease a fascist, so now she's going to bankroll a bunch of lawsuits anyway through the JK Rowling Women's Fund.*
You can read an archived version of the report here, please save it and share it.
*Not so friendly reminder there is no way to engage in the wizard books without enabling this shit.
See this right here is why I always say most jobs will CLAIM they will accept disabled employees but then bulks up the job requirements with a bunch of bullshit no one actually has to do including the abled employees just to scare disabled people off. This is legit an ad for a clothing store that is worded in a way to exclude basically every kind of disability. Why the fuck would I need to crawl or be able to adjust the focus of my vision to sell clothes. What the fuck.
This should be illegal.
I once saw a job posting where one of the required skills was "eye contact"
Same, saw a TJ Max job posting with the "must be able to make small talk, hold eye contact, and understand body language" and I was just like "Okay Captain Eugenics let's put that copy of the DSM-5 away for a sec and remember that disabled people are humans, yeah?"
(And also like. I think an autistic person can work at TJ Max. I don't think that's a job you have to be NT fo do.)
if you have "cishet men dni" in your bio i, a trans man, will not touch you with a 10 foot pole. i should not be forced to out myself as a trans man just to interact with you. on top of that, cishet men are not inherently evil. stop trying to reinvent bioessentialism with your "girl good, boy bad!" mentality.
if you have "cishet men dni" in your bio, I, a trans woman, will not touch your blog with a 10 foot pole either. based on your assumptions that cishet men are "evil," I assume that I will have to prove my transfemininity to you (stupid), and I distrust that you will even trust my womanhood in the first place (ooh i have a penis im scaryyyy). and again, cishet men are not inherrently evil, stop trying to reinvent bioessentialism.
ADDITIONALLY. if your standard of evil masculinity is based off of cis vs trans men, you're defining trans men by them "being women." full stop. don't do that! please!!
And non-binary people (especially non-binary people who went through androgenizing puberty) will have to "prove" that they're not too man/masc-aligned. Half the time enben are seen as woman/man-lite, and I have no idea how you'll treat cistrans or masc-aligned non-binary people that you perceive as "basically men".
And intersex men, I will add. They're often forced into "basically pericis" or "no way you're cis", and are treated accordingly.
this disability pride month lets be kinder to folks with moral ocd . no more “if you really care about this minority , you’ll reblog this post” , “someone will die if you don’t reblog this” , etc etc , and all other kinds of guilt tripping reblog bait . at the VERY LEAST tag your reblog bait so we can filter it out and avoid unnecessary spirals . it’s 2026 , we need to move past using guilt to get engagement .
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As a result of the devastating strikes and the harsh war that Lebanon has endured, thousands of people have been left without homes, safety,

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Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats