Musings

Love always seemed to pass me by

I didn't mind

Men came and went

Flings were lit up

And by morning burnt out

And I didn't mind

Yet when I saw her

My heart ached

And my chest bled

But I didn't mind

I yearned for her touch

And craved her lips

I still didn't mind

Spent years alone

Or in strangers arms

And still I didn't mind

The lonely thud

In crowded rooms

The empty spaces

Suffocating me

I wonder if I didn't mind

My mind filled with her

Broken pieces pieced together

A picture not quite set

I see her in the passers by

In strangers never met

I wish I didn't mind...

Hell I've never been this easily productive, made one hell of a difference.

Comfy in my own home while studying quietly with others.

I am me...

Given a name to use

For the life I live

A Life as blank as a canvas

Brimming with endless possibilities

And a limited supply of paint

I am me...

The artist, architect and builder

Laying each memory neatly in lin3

On the path of strange beginnings

Bricks of love and hate

And everything in between

I am me...

The me that shares with you

The me t can be now

The me that stretches on

To a different tomorrow

Who's path twists and turns

Into a complex patterned mandala

I am me...

That's all I care to be

No longer in fear

Of who I could not strive me be

With each step

I watch the growth

And each fall

I patch up the pain

This life shows beauty

Far beyond what

I could possibly comprehend

And that's enough for me

I am human

A villan in a story

A hero in another

I have fought demons

And slane angles

Killed a whole branch virtual plants trying to use Forest at work.

But check out my work buddies Greg & Bob

Trying to get through the work day, then Martial Arts, then hopeful I'll have enough energy for an hour or two of studying.

ADHD meds or not, it feels like you need to be superhuman to keep up with life in the modern era.

The result of mixing work and study life.

My desk looks like the carnage to the last mass extinction.

But I guess my notes aren't looking too shabby. I'm enjoying what I'm doing, I must say.

Well it's been a hell of a couple of days.

Work has been crazy, but coping. Trying to study so that I'm actually prepaid ahead of time for my exams for once. And doing a bit of tlc self care.

Had a coffee date with myself today. Have not done that in forever, soft jazz playing in the background as I sip on delicious coffee looking out onto a sweet little garden.

The soul needs that sometimes😌

Productivity Day 3/100

Okay... Not my best day of studying productively. Definitely not great, but I'm putting my money where my mouth is. I bet that after this week I should have all my ducks in a row again. I can feel the winds changing.

Frankly, I realized that my schedule had been thrown out the window with all the changes at home, but thats officially on the mend.

So here's a pretty picture I colored to calm me down today. 😁

Yesterday wasn't much of a study day.

I work full time and study part time. Which works best for me but lately I've been trying to get out of a burn out phase.