Strawbebbies

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

can we focus on the gnome for a second

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

these are the people i have to share a highway with

I feel like this is what Robert Pattinson sees in his peripheral vision whenever he's doing an interview.

[Video Description: A clip from Twilight: New Moon. Bella looks tensely at Laurent. A ghostly apparition of Edward appears between them and grimly says to Bella, "Lie." She looks mildly startled, shuts her eyes, then looks mildly confused and says, "Yeah, absolutely. All the time." Immediately, Edward's ghost says emphatically, "Lie better." End Description]

@funnier-as-a-system

wow my tweet on my dash

Pokemon Heritage Post

notice how nobody liked being at work today

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

Thats crazy dude mind if i join you

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed