it's not your fault I'm a wizard

A super long audio book with just silence and an “oh, out loud?” at the end

affirmations for shoving veggies up ur ass

@alessmargi

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

Sneebert Deebert

the issue with growing up in the 2000s and 2010s was like there was this really big push toward "accepting your weirdness" overall but they meant like idk wearing mismatched socks or something not being tangibly beyond the norm in any way shape or form

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

My computer just randomly stopped running Bluetooth and even digging into the internal files and forcing it to run the software isn’t working for some reason.

My child just randomly stopped eating, and even hitting them and yelling at them to eat isn't working for some reason.

You know I’ve cycled through like ten different snarky comments I could make in reply to this but frankly this comment (even if it’s some kind of joke) is so out of the ballpark from what I’m talking about that I fear your fundamental understanding of what im referring to isn’t even in the same zip code as the reality of the actual situation and I don’t know how to properly be funny in response to this because I’m so genuinely baffled.

have u tried killing and birthing your kid again?

sometimes the author’s barely disguised fetish is YOUR barely disguised fetish and has nothing to do with the author at all

hey so a bunch of people have taken this post as an opportunity to decry interpreting media sexually/suggestively at all and it’s pissing me off. joining the war on eroticism on the side of eroticism. #ThatCigaretteIsAPenis

everyone’s trying to stump the akinator so i’m gonna try and see if he’ll know that i’m thinking of the little symbol on the front of his turban