yodel they/he hoo or whatever the fuck

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

medieval peasants actually had access to far more Doritos than we do nowadays

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world

Imagine a bladeless knife with no handle. Now put the handle back. Now put the blade back. Yaaaay! everything okay! Yaaaaaaay!

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

had a fucked up dream i had a book that turned out could never be read again the same as the first time because each reread the characters became incrementally more aware that the events of the book had happened before and they were “reliving” it and i reread enough times that they became self aware, figured out they were in a book, acknowledged me as the reader, and some lost their minds or had existential crises, became violent to other characters or themselves, some begged me to never stop reading or they ceased to exist and others begged me to end it all stop reading and keeping them trapped in the endless loop of torment, and the literal only way to get the book back to its first run was to hand it off to someone else to read for the first time and for some reason i physically couldn’t tell anyone about it so i’d have to just hope whoever i gave it to would only read it once and i could never open the book again to check if they were okay and back to normal because i was terrified of fucking them all up again :(