garbagé

For some reason as a like 5 or 6 year old I got one of those dolls that can pee and I remember being really frustrated that the pee went straight through it and there was no transformation of fluids involved, so I decided to make blueprints for dolls that had an actual digestive system & organs & all that. I was also a fan of Star Wars at the time so this resulted in my mom finding a notebook full of naked Star Wars characters (Yoda & his penis included) that I got in huge trouble for.

still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

If you don’t let go of your prejudices and past grudges, your heart won’t blossom. 2013 is coming, let’s make a change. We only have one planet so let’s show each other some kindness.

why did you just touch me with a 10ft pole

does anyone have the gamer dance gif because i need it

Hmm…………….. not quite. try again

Only gif I got, boss.

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

If you are a vampire NEVER feed from someone named Richard. 400 fucking years and everyone still calls me Dick Sucker

It’s awesome there’s animals in the world imagine it was just rocks and a low whistling almost groaning wind

just got really scared can you say something else

I can’t. I can’t do anything.

Impressed by new roommate today by showing them the gromit mug, the gromit mug mug, and then the gromit mug mug mug

I’ll need to run it by the black mold first before making any major decisions

If I start my sentence with "Girl" I mean it in a gay way like I'm about to bitch to you about my coworkers who I hate and who I am nothing but nice to. If I start my sentence with "Maaan" I mean it in a tired teen boy way. Like Shaggy learning that he's eaten the last of his vile sandwiches