Clever title

i need to do a little craft with my hands

If you desperately attempt to publicly shame anyone for having STIs during pride month of all months we should just collectively agree it’s okay to beat your ass. deadly conditions are apparently a funny joke or a moral bludgeoning device so it’s actually okay for me to call for this. suffering is funny now

drug addicts deserve housing, food, water, and healthcare btw

It's called the Great Oxidation Event. Ok? We're going to have more beautiful oxygen than ever before. You'll be saying Mr. President sir, no more oxygen! But we'll be meeting with the highly respected cyanobacteria very soon

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

I need a blowjob but I don’t have a penis or a strap on and I’m not taking off my pants so you’re just gonna have to figure it out