life is pain highness

i don’t make the rules, my brain does and unfortunately that bitch is chemically imbalanced

no i am not immune to early 2000s pop-punk music that fucks a little harder than everyone likes to admit

Huge fan of when I have a problem that I have no idea how to handle (or no time/tools/physical strength to handle) and I call A Guy who knows how to handle it and they come and handle it for me.

$5000 seems like a nice amount. Somebody should just give me $5000 today. Directly into my bank account. It would be very nice.

idk what neurodivergent young adult needs to hear this but you are NOT supposed to give 100% at your job. I've gotten more promotions and raises since I started giving 40-60%, which my evil CEO uncle informed me is what bosses actually expect when they say 110%. My mental health has improved tremendously. I've spent 2 out of 5 workdays secretly writing my novel for the last 2 years and I've never been more respected and appreciated. Also--when you see glaring wasteful errors in the company's operating systems, say absolutely nothing! Embrace inefficiency. It is your friend in this capitalist hellscape.

reblog if its friday and you made it

Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko

in conversation about white people who go to Japan and expect their knowledge of anime to culturally carry them, I was once posed with “it’s like if there was a Japanese guy who was obsessed with spongebob and came over here and thought he could get by just communicating in spongebob quotes.” This is a false equivalence because if such a man existed we would crown him king. We’d love him. Americans would fucking love that. sometimes I get sad that this isn’t a real guy I can invite to a party.

Ok the last one got me laughing actually

hope tumblr lasts another 20 years so i can liveblog my midlife crisis

"you should be at the club" i should be in the woods. performing the ritual.