Totomat

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

why would i do that lmao

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

#i put this in my queue every time i see it #because it’s quick it’s easy and it’s free (via @majestictortoise)

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

i understand all that shit about honor and knighthood and solemn vows but “kingslayer” is simply a bad insult. it sounds cool as fuck. might as well call him the landlord annihilator or the billionaire’s bane.

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

hey boss can you show me where the forklift's self-destruct is so i can keep it from falling into the hands of enemy warehouse crews?

@liesmyth

the way i was going to reblog it then I scrolled down and said I was tagged in it... to be loved is to be known or whatever 💕

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore

fuckkkkkk I cleared the time loop first try

nice to know every choice I made was already optimal but I was really looking forward to learning how to juggle :/

i need (abruptly stops talking & stares at some random fixed point with a vacant expression)

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again