part-time soulmate, full-time problem

Old man, sitting in the pool steps reading his book

UNRESTRAINED SUMMER FUN

i have tested positive for tzatziki

Dying of laughter together is my favorite non-sexual act of intimacy.

BREAKING: Trump Has Allegedly Signed The White-Gold Concordat And Is In League With The Thalmor 😳🚨

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.

I get road rage walking behind people.

REGRET TO INFORM YOU YOUR SON HAS DIED FROM TRENCH FOOT LOL HE SERVED WITH COURAGE AND HONOR LOL PLEASE ACCEPT OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES LOL

your cat was an honor to see in the window

I'm shy at first and then im like donkey from shrek