Dazed Confused And Enthused

posting this again cause now its actually true

logging onto woundblr and seeing all the pain on my gashboard

spike! regouge!

Public transport is a type of horse and I'm a teenage girl who no one understands

The bus fucking bit me

The thing about how you will talk like a tumblr user for the rest of your life is that usually people won’t clock it but sometimes you’ll meet someone and you’ll actually be able to see a look of painful recognition in their eyes when you say some tumblypoo bullshit while everyone else just thinks you had an epic original thought. And it’s gonna make you a little bit sorry you were born

welcome to my "bananas n butt plugs" bachelorette party everyone... go ahead and grab a nanner to put up your hole when the grandfather clock strikes 12

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

Going outside with wet hair from showering is humiliating because everyone sees you and thinks stuff like "eww gross here comes the wet girl". But going outside with wet hair when it's raining? Unambiguous boon because now everyone is thinking stuff like "wow, she's so topical" and "her hair is a scathing critique of the times we live in"