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man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

this might be kind of a reach but is there a way for printers to connect to devices so that documents can be printed from them

Interview With The Vampire, but it's Andrew interviewing Spike and receiving threats throughout

the few minutes between the moment u yap in someones dms and they dont answer and you feel like you should get painfully dismembered for the crime of talking to someone vs the instant relief of normalcy you get when they text back and no ones killed you yet

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

customers the same in all universes

this is it. this is the best response i’ve ever received on this post. everyone pack up, go home, we’re done here

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

there are two punchlines here, the first is predictable, the second really surprises you

Smug face of a free man

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

The view from Calvin's neighbor's house.