Comeback Hero!

the grinch is fucked up right. he was created specifically as a critique of the commercialization of christmas, but now all his edge has been sanded off. now he's a generic mascot for "hates christmas," which is great to have because the commercialization of christmas has become so overbearing that that's a demographic you can market to! and now he's just part of the Christmas Fold. he's santa's edgier joker counterpart. he has become the very thing he sought to destroy. back in november i checked out a customer with a $1100 order and most of it was grinch merchandise

*reading tarot* ouch! ten of swords. you mustve gotten stabbed a bunch of times recently

*flips next card over* by the devil

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

In the real world people tell me I have a funny turn of phrase; on Tumblr I'm just Ken

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

you can make friends online and you will be rewarded with pictures of their cats

adult backpack wearers of the world unite