Comeback Hero!

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

nothing online is ever truly deleted. except that one fucking thing you're looking for

This addition is so important.

It's really funny to take Spanish with people from different Spanish-speaking countries, because the ones from South American countries are like "Yeah no one uses vosotros, we don't know what it's doing here" and the ones from Europe are like "If you don't give our beloved second-person plural its due respect, the Hounds will find you"

Why would they speak spanish in europe

I love how tumblr is full of people who aren’t afraid to hang around on the bottom rung of the moron ladder. You make me feel better about every stupid thing I’ve ever done in my life including the time I glued fake moustaches to my eyebrows.

are we gonna skip past port o' rico

the worst person you know thinks they're super empathetic. the kindest person you know thinks they're fucked up and evil

LA is so funny cause wym i just stopped at Chipotle and accidentally had a conversation with the producer of Van Helsing 2004 and got to tell him that im clinically obsessed with that movie and he was like “i’ll text the director that right now he’ll love that”

i think a lot of you guys are vastly overestimating the celebrity status of a 65 year old editor producer of a 2004 movie who was picking up his own Chipotle in cargo shorts

Write that long fic. Those two plot points and a fetish will make a great 5+1. It'll be the best oneshot you ever wrote.

Write that one-shot. Those 3 chapters will be the best 10 chapters you ever wrote

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

my account is rated G for girls, gays and goths