hullo hullo @tiredspacealien - Tumblr Blog

Ye ever wanty just wrap yersel up in tin foil nice and cosy and then just fucking get right inty the microwave and blow yersel up tae fuck

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wizardarchetypes

it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware

carolinalaurel

One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!

The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….

hickeywiththegoodhair

i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”

i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed

lezbadeez

gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean

weaver-z

How the media depicts the Apollo 11 mission:

Actual quotes from the Apollo 11 mission:

Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/2609/

bralsra-deactivated20250108

theres ALWAYS a relevant XKCD for everything huh

craicisirish

reminds me of how artists flip the canvas to make sure their art looks good

Just flip the genders real quick and check if you accidentally made a cult

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storm-of-feathers

EVERYONE STOP TELLING ME HOW OLD YOU WERE IN 2008 I DONT WANNA HEAR THAT SHIT

guessinggames-deactivated-2026-0

everyone reblog with how old they were in 2008 :)

#4 LMAO

disgustinggf

luxwing

GAMING NEWS !!

expensive

luxwing

crackedpolishedblackstonebrick

posts funnier with timestamps on

demadogs

nothing can break the bond between a friend who loves spoilers and a friend who just watched an amazing show and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

demadogs

alternatively: nothing can break the bond between a friend who doesnt read and a friend who just read an amazing book and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

demadogs

nothing can break the bond between a friend who cannot and will not watch horror but is still interested and a friend who just watched an amazing horror movie and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

jessebloom

first day of pride month

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ooppo

AI slop prompters will never feel the exhilaration of drawing fanatically. Time becomes irrelevant. Your body morphs into just a device for devotion. You are devotion. Never blinking. Your heart beat might as well have never began, because you have become a machine for craft. You are every person before you that has ever touched pencil to paper. Your blood sings as you become a singularity. Never blinking. Never breathing. Never hearing. Eyes on paper, hand moving as if pushed and pulled by an unknown force. They will never understand the madness you feel when you enter a state where you do not starve, ache, or think. The moment you snap out of that haze, your hands covered in graphite and your stomach clawing at your insides for sustenance, that's the closest thing to divinity I have ever felt. I chase it even when my body deteriorates. I understand the weakness of my flesh and it does not deter me

socialorganism

I have ecstatic seizures that compell me to write for days. I have touched infinity and it's interesting to see how it seeps through the neural nets in my brain out my fingers onto the keys, and it's even interesting to see how that looks fed back through finely and intentionally tuned, trained, and modulated neural networks on my GPU. I'm better than you at knowing and appreciating what art is.

AI slop prompters like me actually draw too. Literally do know what you're talking about, and it does apply to any creative process. I know better than you cause I'm not an anxious reactionary snob who has decided to cling to the losing side of a battle between artists that has been won by "slop" every single time for all of history. You've told yourself a story about the skill ceiling of generative AI, and the value of the artistic process of using it, and I hope it's some small comfort to you. Keep losing.

ooppo

bamsara

did chatgpt write that response for you too

whosname

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

mallowmaenad

the funniest and most tragic moment in steven universe is the scene that implies that Pearl pulls bitches like a professional dog walker but doesn't know how phones work so her place on earth is being a life-changing futch fling for every dyke on the east coast there's probably a gay bar in maryland where they talk about the twiggy bird chick that eats milf pussy like it's the last edible thing on earth and they dont even know about the city full of thousand year old neon lesbian amazons who are pent up 24/7 from The War and leaving room for jesus cause they're always hanging out with their softboy nephew who might be the second coming of christ

jager-mistress-diane

naamahdarling

In a single sentence, no less.

jisuto

hazeldomain

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

hazeldomain

The poll winner seems to be “depends on whether you like him” which is super valid.

Mine watches fox news so “mom’s husband” it is!

brainsforbabyjesus

My family has a great way of distinguishing between a new spouse you like and new spouse you disdain!

Your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are actually a cool person, you use their first name. So if you were to introduce them they would be: Aunt Jane and Bob.

If your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are a fuckwad you introduce them as: this is Aunt Jane and her second husband. The implication being that they are very replaceable and that we’re all just waiting for her to wise up to the situation and serve you divorce papers, she did it once, she can do it again.

hazeldomain

MAGNIFICENT

readysetyeet

Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty

devilboyblues

"my stepdad's wife"

helepikolik

@sapphic-sargent your tags omg

You are doing God’s work

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pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated

Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event

bpdcassidy-archived-deactivated

Come on, now, op. We all know squidward doesn’t go to the club.

He’s one of those “I’m not like other gays” gays who goes home to a bottle of wine and his obscure 50s vaudeville records, and then mopes because he can never find a boyfriend.