Shut up Wesley @readysetyeet - Tumblr Blog

Very belated apologies to anyone named Wesley. It's a star trek tng reference

#go watch tng btw it's really good #star trek humor my beloved

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lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

rninor-blog

“bend over” “bend what? over”

striderofthen0rth

I hate this place

sarazanmai

byrdiboo

Imagine losing a game you rigged

mona-ex-machina

If you were really my friend you’d do this highly unethical experimental surgery on me

#Ryland Grace

phantomrose96

I'm very very glad that my knee-jerk, gut-feeling, primal-instinct reaction to seeing a Default Influencer is embarrassment. I think this saves me from a lot of bullshit.

phantomrose96

Some lip-filler lady on enough Ozempic to euthanize a horse: "The sad truth is an elite lifestyle takes money and discipline. Buy these brands on credit if you have to. Skip meals."

Me: "Oh. Oh I'm physically experiencing the effects of secondhand embarrassment. You live like this? This is your life? Your interiority? If I was anything like this I'd kill myself I think."

phantomrose96

To be clear ☝️, absolutely not gender-exclusive. Some broccoli-haired shirtless 23-year-old man on enough trenbolone to euthanize a different horse starts talking about how to be a high-value male and I start thinking instantly about how I'd have 4,000 slugs use me as a jungle-gym before I'd want this man within cootie-contagion distance of me.

phantomrose96

refuzz

phantomrose96

Respect for my soldiers… she’s saving him… the hons…

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donatella-aquato

Had to figure out how to draw everyone in this new style and it was very fun

heathyr

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

distractedbyshinyobjects

If you get a compliment from a random American on the street, know that they tried their best to keep from saying a peep to you but they literally could not hold it in. They HAD to say something.

fremedon

The other day a tiny gay man in a hurry bumped me on the Metro escalator and said "Sorry, great dress by the way" and then he stopped at the top of the escalator and turned around and said "AND a great hat. THAT is how we do summer!" and SPRINTED for his bus and I coasted on that for the rest of the day.

unreconstructedfangirl

Love this post!

When I first moved to Prague I had a colleague who had such great style, and I always complimented her because I thought she was hot and cool. Years later when we were friends, she told me that she always suspected me of trying to manipulate her somehow because that is not how Czechs roll, and it was really inconceivable to her that I was simply complimenting her with no ulterior motive, but that's culturally normal to me?

Also, I am married to a British person, and his mother is an artist -- she's a collograph print-maker, and she told me that whenever she wants a pick me up, she sends photos of her latest prints to me, because I can be counted upon to say something nice. What can I say? I love her work? Her prints are beautiful, so...not faking?

Americans have a lot of blind spots and issues, but saying the nice thing in their brains to other people is fine? Like? A little more kindness and connection isn't hurting anyone?

aprillikesthings

There was a post on r/askanamerican just the other day, by a guy living in Eastern Europe who has a fun backpack (it looks like a reeses cup package with a bite taken out of it!) and said he constantly got compliments on it from American tourists

And he was like...are all of you like that? You say nice things to total strangers as if you're life-long friends??

And the entire comment section was like: Yup. Absolutely. This is 100% a thing we do.

And someone looked up a picture of the backpack and shared it and we were all like OMG THAT IS AN AMAZING BACKPACK yeah if I saw someone in any city on earth wearing that thing I would in fact say something.

Sometimes posts on that subreddit are a trash fire, but we were all so happy to talk about times we've told strangers compliments or been complimented by strangers.

And genuinely, it's one of the few things that makes me proud to be American. Like. We have a reputation for telling total strangers when we like something they're wearing/doing. And we mean it, every single time!

letsrevince

transmechanicus

Enriched uranium sword with a lead sheathe that is rumored to slowly kill its owner in exchange for god killing power.

transmechanicus

League of knights with similar blades all sheathe their weapons in the mechanisms of a dilapidated castle, their power bringing arcane mechanisms to life and unearthing secrets long buried and lost.

transmechanicus

Two selfish combatants duel with these cursed blades, their final mighty clash laying waste to both warriors and their surroundings in an apocalyptic storm of divine fire that sees the land poisoned and cursed by the gods for decades.

b0hannon

“Hark, Lord Bollemer, ye shall taste the steel of my Cursed Blade, and thine doom willst finally be upon you! Ready thyself!”

artificial-cosmos

This place is not a place of honour

wordproblemapoligist

tom nook is NOT a landlord!!! he is a construction worker! he SELLS you a WHOLE HOUSE! He is not CHARGING YOU however many bells a month to live there! You PURCHASE a HOME that he BUILDS FOR YOU and then you PAY HIM FOR HIS SERVICE. He charges no interest he sets no time limit it is a relationship built on trust. the only penalty you get for not paying off your home is that he won't build more home until you pay him for the first one. A guy that builds you a house wherever you want him to and then charges you for the cost of construction is not a landlord you own the fucking home

brennacedria

He is, however, in the mafia

tedisfishing

the ipad brothers. they're rotting.

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mindllessdreaming

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

buggyhuman-blog

apolladay

let's make a cake but instead of ratios, the votes decide the order in which to do the steps.

- preheat the oven

- grease and flour a cake pan

-mix flour, sugar, salt and baking powder

-add eggs, milk, butter/oil and vanilla

-beat until smooth

-pour batter into the pan

-bake for 25-35 minutes

-let the cake cool completely

(the option with the most votes goes first, the option with the second most votes second and so on)

let's make a cake but instead of ratios, the votes decide the order in which to do the steps.

preheat the oven

grease and flour a cake pan

mix flour, sugar, salt and baking powder

add eggs, milk, butter/oil and vanilla

beat until smooth

pour batter into the pan

bake for 25-35 minutes

let the cake cool completely

Remaining time: 6 days 16 hours

(the option with the most votes goes first, the option with the second most votes second and so on)

#EVERYONE STOP BEATING IT WE NEED INGREDIENCE

snowychicken

Is this a threat?

its-uh-bella

I've only ever seen edits of this image until now

snowychicken

I saw this reblog and thought "there aren't that many edits of this post. There's just the gun one and a few close ups of the orangutan's face." Turns out I just wasn't paying attention

Anyway, I felt the need to gather them all

If there's any others PLEASE show me

weaselle

the actual thing is so great tho.

like, the edits are funny but i just wanted to circle back to the actual enrichment being great

not only in a technical sense of providing something the orangutans need, but also in a poetic justice "their entertainment is YOU" kind of way. would love to see more of this at zoos

findersfeeders

I used to work st the National Zoo. They have an enrichment center for their big apes which was a separate building across the way from the ape house (where they slept n junk).

The orangutans could go over on highline wires, about 20’ above the walkway. Orangutans fully understand that people are their cousins and can and should be fucked with.

So these apes would climb up the ladder and then just fucking wait for a crowd to form. Then and only then would they start crossing the street. Their feet grip the lower cable and their hands grip the higher cable and they walk across that way right? Ok.

So they do cute things like stop and look any everyone and people would wave and take pictures and clap—clap!— because an orangutan was just hanging out above them. Fine. But right as they got square over people, at a place where their handlers would have a tough time getting to them, they would release the top cable and hang on by their feet and for a death defying moment, appear as if they would belly flop onto the crowd below.

Then they just fucking hang there while everyone loses their shit and claps and screams and clamors as they realize it was all a ruse. Then pick their nose and fling boogers before swinging back up and continuing on.

This was an almost daily occurrence that they figured out and did on their own so like…you know they hammering the FUCK outta that water button lololololol

miggylol

Spin the wheel. That's who's trying to kill you.

Spin the wheel again. That's who's trying to protect you.

Are you safe?

Absolutely not. I'm dead. 100% dead.

I might stay alive, but it'll be a really close thing.

I'll take some hits, for certain, but I should be okay in the end.

A few attacks might get through, but nothing concerning.

The attacker might be able to get in one lucky hit. If that.

I am the opposite of worried. I'm 100% safe.

...Look. I've tried picturing this. But I honestly don't know how to answer.

Voting ended onFeb 18, 2025

#i got daffy duck and went OH NO #and then I got Pearl and breifly went YAYY but then remembered that Daffy works on looney toons physics #i still think Pearl would win bc Daffy isn't generally allowed to succeed at things #but it would be after a LOT of slapstick

fr3sh-c0rn-2

pov: youre dr ryland grace on erid

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