welcome to a world of endless wonder

so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown breakfast

who on earth is out there waking up early to get shit done??? the purpose of waking up early is to have QUIET TIME LOUNGING IN BED before the world gets LOUD & ANNOYING AS FUCK

Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

do actors get boners while making sex scenes this is one of the things i’ve wondered my whole life

Idk if you actually care for the answer, but they have to put their dicks in little sleeves that attach to the leg so if they get a boner it just get held down.

that sounds like a garment that should be sold everywhere and considered polite if not mandatory to wear, like bras

Omg I can’t

As a guy I second this.

If I have to wear a titty sling because there might be an event where it becomes chilly and my nip noops become visible through my shirt, people who have a peenor should be expected to wear a peenor sling in case there is an event where a gentle breeze occurs and their peenor becomes erect.

I kind of feel like if we’re gonna do that we should go all-out and they should be IMPOSSIBLE to size, VERY expensive, flimsy, and made of uncomfortable, itchy materials.

And the little ones should have cute designs but the big ones only come in white,black, and tan

This is legit one of the best posts I’ve ever found on tumblr.

They also must come with a terrible underwire that sometimes breaks or stabs them from time to time.

This is great.

There should also be a very old, kind of worn out one that gets worn on laundry day.

and the sizes need to have some random symbols/letters for no fuckin reason at all. 7 inch dick? cool your size is 4Z deal with it.

This is where Tumblr excels.

Men should be all excited to get home so they can take it off, but then also shamed for ever being without it.

Only problem is that guys would deliberately wear a size or two too big. And they’d never wash it.

opening Tumblr is like a cigarette break

the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic

Explain.

Anyway I think more video game quests should make you uncomfortable and guilty and mislead you and corner you between a rock and a hard place and offer hollow victories. There's nothing more annoying than quest writing that scrambles to assure you that you're niceys and good and nothing you put your hand on can ever have negative consequences. "You cannot save everyone" and I cheer and whoop etc.

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

they're a problematic character TO YOU. they're problematic to me as well but I'm being weird and horny about it so it's different

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.