Time to Deflate

So yeah. Not too much has been going on - but if you want to check out my instagram, I post on there all the time. :)

18 months ago today, I went to Methodist Hospital in St. Louis Park, MN, to change my life. On November 9, 2015, I finally had my vertical sleeve gastrectomy - a surgery I had prepped and planned for for over 8 months prior. I like to joke now that when I went into surgery, I knew I would be a success. I had studied, I had talked to every person I met in real life and online if I could. I found a small community online who loved and supported me from the very beginning on Tumblr and later Instagram. (Thanks @linds.does.life, @mandas_muffintop, @oliverstutler, @minusfortyfive, and countless others who I'm forgetting to tag who talked to me and supported my journey from the beginning!) But while I joke now about how I knew I would succeed, back in those first couple months I was terrified just like everyone else. I had the same fear that I would be the one person surgery wouldn't work for, or that I didn't do enough to fix my relationship with food. I wanted everything fixed and perfect right from the beginning. What I've learned on this journey is that it is just that - a journey. I am not perfect. I still have bad days where I eat too much or things I shouldn't. I still have days that I laze around the house and don't do anything to further my fitness goals. I'm human! But my journey has shown me I can continuously get better. I am happier than I have ever been. I get a sense of accomplishment from being healthy now, versus before I would have been annoyed after being healthy for a day and not see results. My mind frame has changed to what I think is how I was supposed to feel growing up - positive, filed with self love and accomplishment. I see food as a part of my life, not a vice. I see fitness as a chance to have fun, relieve stress - Not a punishment. Obviously I still have days I don't feel THAT positive. 😅 But I'm getting there. And that's the beauty of it - this journey never ends. I get to keep discovering and challenging myself. It could be daunting - but let's consider it fun for now! High weight: 343.8lbs Currently maintaining at 177-181lbs Diet: reasonable. High protein, low crappy carbs. Fitness: biking, hiking, HIIT (Orangetheory)

Guess who's getting back on the #fitbit train just in time to walk all of NYC?! This girl! Add me with my email - [email protected] 😊 #fitbitcharge2 #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #otf #orangetheoryfitness

#latergram bring back the 60 degree weather, my bike, and more breweries please 💖 So excited for all this summer has in store. Here is to looking forward to things I would have once dreaded - biking, hiking, camping, traveling, 5ks, trying kayaking, maybe paddle boarding?! I'm so excited to have a summer where I'm perceived as "normal" - where strangers don't realize I used to be double my size, or that I used to not be able to walk up a flight of stairs without being exhausted. I'm excited to live my life as the happy, fun, positive person I see myself as. And everyday I am so grateful for the steps I took with my weight loss surgery and all of the hard work I put in to help myself overcome obesity. #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #verticalsleevegastrectomy #nsv #weightloss #weightlosssurgery #bariatricbabe #bariatricsurgery #whyihadwls #rny #rouxeny #mnwls #lifeaftervsg #extremeweightloss #weightlossinspiration #160lbsdown #weightlossmotivation #fitness #fitfam #healthy #positivevibes

#throwbackthursday Grateful for having a fun, active life with my nieces and nephews now. Thankful for eyes that are wide open, and a neck. Those are nice too. #tbt #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #verticalsleevegastrectomy #nsv #weightloss #weightlosssurgery #bariatricbabe #bariatricsurgery #whyihadwls #rny #rouxeny #mnwls #lifeaftervsg #extremeweightloss #weightlossinspiration #160lbsdown

ATTENTION WLS BROTHERS AND SISTERS! So I am SO PUMPED to meet so many of you in NYC in less than a month, but I am so sad so many people can't join us due to costs. I know the Minnesota meetups that were pitched in the past have fallen through - so I want to spearhead this one. I would love to see a group of you come out and experience a Minnesota autumn (which is always 😍👌) on the weekend of October 6-8, 2017. The awesome part about the Twin Cities is the sheer variety of stuff to do - we have a kick ass downtown with fun bars and clubs, we have the Mall of America for endless shopping and an indoor theme park - if it is nice out we could hit up Valley fair! - and we also have amazing lakes, hiking trails, apple picking... you name it! Also if anyone wants to try out an Orangetheory Fitness with me while you are out here, we could totally set that up for all of us to do it! 😅 Right now I am just gauging interest and seeing who would want to come out. Send me a message or comment on here - and I would love it if you shared my first photo with the hashtag #minneapolisWLS2017 to get the word out to everyone! Thanks guys! 😘😘😘

#transformationtuesday While my handle is timetodeflate... I'm very grateful for how my skin has held up during this process. I still have a whole lot of problems areas. I still deal with tugging and being uncomfortable when I work out if I'm not using good compression garments. But all around, my arms are looking pretty damn good. Quick facts: Down 166lbs with the help of bariatric surgery, a high protein diet, and moving my butt. No, I don't use wraps or creams. No, I don't want to try yours. In the end I credit my youth, my genetics, and working out more than anything. Loose skin happens when you lose as much as I have. It really isn't the end of the world. (And also - even without losing a crazy amount of weight, I love seeing my body continue to change!) #vsg #wls #mnwls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #verticalsleevegastrectomy #nsv #weightloss #weightlosssurgery #bariatricbabe #bariatricsurgery #fitfam #fitness #healthy #positivevibes #beforeandafter #bodypositive #flex #arms #looseskin #extremeweightloss #weightlossinspiration #160lbsdown #weightlosstransformation

Feeling soooo spoiled today when I got a package from @bounce_usa! As you guys have probably noticed, I have been hard core snacking on these after finding them at my local hyvee. They are perfect bariatric size, and are made with whole foods - no crazy chemicals. I'm so excited to try some new flavors that aren't available at my store! Thank you so much, @bounce_usa ! #protein #grablife #bounceballs #bounceprotein #gotballs #foodafterwls #bariatriceats #wlseats #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #bariatricsurgery #weightlosssurgery

#facetofacefriday Tagged for a #stopdropandselfie by @raineb_vsg and @shesgettinsleeved so I mixed it with our favorite Friday theme. Hope you all have a fun (and safe!) St Patty's Day! #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #verticalsleevegastrectomy #nsv #weightloss #weightlosssurgery #bariatricbabe #bariatricsurgery #fitfam #fitness #healthy #weightlossinspiration #weightlosstransformation #transformation #beforeandduring #gastricbypass #extremeweightloss #rny #rouxeny

Very much enjoy these little quotes from @happinessplanner. Been in a funk, having a hard time with positivity the last few days. But today I took some steps - I made all of the routine doctors visit appointments that I needed to set up and have been putting off (also found out my therapist is no longer working at a covered clinic, and my favorite bariatric doctor has also left my program 😢. But I made appointments with new professionals to move forward with.) I made plans to hang with a friend tonight. I turned off the TV and picked up a book. I did not go out and buy food that I don't need, even though that is all I wanted to do. Little steps lead to big differences. Even if they are baby steps... it's forward. #mentalhealth #lifeaftervsg #extremeweightloss #positivity #positivevibes #quotestoliveby

Excuse this hilarious editing, I wasn't intending to share this photo so I had a coworker take it hastily in front of all of these coats and purses hanging up, and didn't want to share images of those online. It was freezing at work and my coworker and I were joking about this sweatshirt we have in back that we never sold - it's an XS, and looks like it was made for a child. Looking at it, I didn't think it would zip around my leg, much less my stomach! Well here you go. It felt like sausage casing, but I fit in a bloody XS. What is life even?! From a XXXL at my largest... to squeezing in an XS. Hoping someday orange theory makes more of these because man, if there was a medium or a small, I would be all over it. 😍 . So thankful everyday for moments like these and people who push me to see what my body actually looks like. I'm always so grateful. . #nsv #weightloss #weightlosssurgery #bariatricbabe #bariatricsurgery #fitfam #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity

My favorite day... #transformationtuesday ! Before picture was exactly 1 year ago on March 7, 2016. I ordered these elephant pants pre-op and I couldn't even pull them up my thighs. I remember showing them to @timetoautomate, excitedly explaining to him that these would be awesome because they would shrink with me and I could wear them more often. I remember this day last year because I could finally try them on and pull them up and over my stomach. And I was so thrilled and blown away. Now I still felt like a can of biscuits about to rip the seems... but I saw my weight loss and knew they would only fit better as time went on. Between these photos I lost about 91lbs, down 166lbs total from my high weight. Now my elephant pants are so loose and comfy. And I'm not stretching the poor images of elephants to twice their size... Take pictures, pre-op people! (And all of you post op kids too!) Find a couple articles of clothing like this that you can keep. It is so motivating and really reminds you of the hard work you put into your journey. #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #verticalsleevegastrectomy #nsv #weightloss #weightlosssurgery #bariatricbabe #bariatricsurgery #whyihadwls #rny #rouxeny #motivation #wlsjourney #fitness #fitfam #extremeweightloss #160lbsdown #weightlosstransformation #weightlossmotivation #losinginches #ilovemysleeve #transformation

Breaking sooo far out of my comfort zone tonight - but I got a hot date with my guy, so no time like the present, right? Found this top at target a couple weeks ago on a clearance rack and fell in love. It is sheer lace over the stomach, and very short. Two things I would have neeeeever gone for before. But I felt soooo good when I tried it on, and it was like $8, so I got it. . So unfortunately, I did not factor in that over the next two weeks I would recommit to my diet and drop 9lbs... oops. So while it fits, it doesn't fit the same, and I started picking it apart. I noticed my lower stomach still stuck out but my boobs didn't fill out the top and the chest part was loose and not hugging my skin like it did before... it resulted in a couple very worried snaps to @linds.does.life. But then I realized - holy shit I'm in a short, sheer shirt, and honestly I still look pretty damn good. . Getting over yourself can be a chore. But it's worth it. . #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #verticalsleevegastrectomy #nsv #weightloss #weightlosssurgery #bariatricbabe #bariatricsurgery #whyihadwls #rny #rouxeny #motivation #wlsjourney #bodyimage #extremeweightloss #weightlossinspiration #weightlossmotivation #160lbsdown #selflove #bodypositive #effyourbeautystandards

For those who missed it in my stories - hit a new low weight today! 🎉🎉 I'm now at 177.4lbs... that means less than 8lbs until my ultimate goal! What the heck?! That's INSANE. 170 was always my stretch goal so I could say I lost more than half my starting weight, but I never put too many eggs in that basket because, you know, typical self doubt. 💁 . But suddenly... 8lbs. I can do 8lbs. It might take time and a ton of effort... but that's doable. 😍 . One thing people always forget when telling morbidly obese people that we just need to stay dedicated to reach our goals... it's easy to say that for 10-20lbs. I wanted to lose 170lbs. The time and commitment to do that is a lot more daunting. The idea that this hill is finally reaching it's summit... oh man. 😃 . #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #verticalsleevegastrectomy #nsv #weightloss #weightlosssurgery #bariatricbabe #bariatricsurgery #whyihadwls #rny #rouxeny #motivation #wlsjourney #fitness #fitfam #extremeweightloss #160lbsdown #weightlossmotivation

Because being on track can still taste amazing... @realgoodpizza for lunch today! I always throw a little more cheese on top, because, well... cheese 💁🧀 For a perfect bariatric portion pizza, you have 270 calories, 25g of protein, and only 4 carbs. Plus they are flipping delicious IMO. They are slowly being sold in stores around the US (they have a store locator on their website) but you can also get them shipped to your house! If you order online, you can use the code TTD10 for 10% off. 😄 #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #foodafterwls #bariatriceats #protein #pizza #realgoodpizza #highprotein #backontrack #backtobasics #diet

Breakfast for dinner tonight! I was showing this in my instastories with my small sauce pan and my small plate. Using these is my best tool in not over eating. Filling up a small space with my portion sizes still looks like I am having a feast! 2 thin slices of bacon (cut in halves to look like more!), 1 fried egg. 😍🍳🍴 #foodafterwls #bariatriceats #vsg #wls #vsginstacrew #wlscommunity #bariatricsurgery #weightlosssurgery

I was tagged for a #transformationtuesday by @linds.does.life, so since I was doing laundry and sorting out old fat clothes, I decided to try on my university sweatpants one last time before I throw them out. I bought these sweats sometime junior year of college (so... somewhere in 2012/2013). They were a men's XXL. They were snug, but fit. Over the next couple years, I put on some more weight and got to the point where I could still pull them up over my stomach, but they definitely weren't comfortable. The before picture was taken the summer of 2015 while I was going through my pre-op process for #bariatricsurgery (weight loss surgery). Because so many people think I don't have excess skin, I decided to tie these babies as tight as I could to mimic the before photo. My skin has done AMAZINGLY during my weight loss. I will never say it hasn't. It all came down to my age, genetics, and luck. I didn't use any creams or wraps to help achieve these results. . Nowadays, I wear M/L ladies sweats. I can fit in my boyfriend's sweatpants with lots of room. I've gone from 343.8lbs to 179.2lbs over the last year and a half. I try to eat a high protein diet, drink lots of water and take my vitamins. I work at Orangetheory Fitness (a HIIT studio) where I like to workout, as well as bike and hike in the summer. Weight loss surgery is not easy. It takes an extreme commitment to a completely new lifestyle to be successful, but if you are ready to take the leap - it really is a new lease on life.