snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean
a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.
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@turgid-cucumber
snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean
a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.

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ok so this would be my vision for the cigarette cake x
I made this, and it's cooling right now. Just realized I accidentally ONLY did oreo bits instead of "cut with caramel".
(I'm super proud that I made this, please reblog <3)
I made another; Dad wanted it for his birthday.
Sure, here's my disorganized recipe from hell, cobbled together from various websites and experiments. I just realized that I pasted the caramel and pastry cream in the wrong order... It's easier if you make the pastry cream first and clean that pot for the caramel. I'm on mobile. Will fix.
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1 box white cake mix, using egg whites. Bake. Flip onto a wire rack.
2/3 box spice cake mix (save the rest to turn into batter later, or portion the batter and bake it on the side.) I add extra allspice. Bake in previous pan.
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Caramel Ganache (kinda):
1 cup granulated sugar
β cup butter, salted or unsalted
White chocolate and hot milk ganache (pre-prepare or don't; pour hot milk over the chocolate and stir until thick but fluid consistency. Use the same method over dark chocolate to make a separate, thicker ganache for later).
Heat until fully melted and amber, without burning. People say don't stir the sugar; I don't think it matters much for a cake like this and I stir it to help it melt faster after it has started.
Add the butter pieces and stir until smooth. It's gonna look scary. Just keep going.
Add the white chocolate ganache until reaching desired consistency. This is done now. Transfer to a holding container and immediately wash your pot. Filling the pot with water and letting the leftover scuz simmer on low helps.
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Pastry Cream (it's just custard with butter, apparently) (ALSO NOTE: I never have a ton unless I make a thin tall cake, but this amount offers an appropriate texture. Maybe double this exclusively if you can make it look pretty. IMO, I'd turn this into a mousse to stabilize it, but I haven't. Spicetrekkers Walnut Espresso Blondie has a good custard->mousse setup.)
β’ 2 cups whole milk
β’ ΒΌ cup granulated sugar
β’ 1 large egg
β’ 2 large egg yolks
β’ ΒΌ cup cornstarch
β’ β cup granulated sugar
β’ 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
β’ 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or vanilla bean, split open, to add to the milk during heating)
In a medium saucepan, combine milk and granulated sugar. Gentle simmer/steam. Do not boil.
Whisk together 1 large egg, 2 large egg yolks, ΒΌ cup cornstarch, and β cup granulated sugar in a mixing bowl until smooth and pale.
Slowly pour about half of the hot milk into the egg mixture in a steady stream, whisking constantly to temper the eggs and prevent curdling.
Immediately pour the tempered egg mixture back into the saucepan. Return to medium heat and whisk constantly until the mixture thickens and begins to bubble, about 2 to 3 minutes.
Remove from heat. Stir in 2 tablespoons unsalted butter and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract until fully melted and incorporated.
Transfer the pastry cream to a clean bowl. Press plastic wrap directly onto the surface to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate until completely chilled (can use freezer initially, if you want).
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Layer as per image. Layer as follows:
Spice cake β Caramel ganache β White cake β Plain pastry cream β Pastry cream with add-ins β Dark chocolate ganache with oreos if you want it that way β Crushed biscoff cookies
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It is very reminiscent of a typical Southern dump-cake, but if you organized it. It's fun. With work, it could be kind of classy?
If I had enough free-time, I'd change a lot about the layering. The caramel and spicecake is fantastic, but the pastry cream doesn't layer perfectly with the white cake. If it was up to future-me, I'd make round cakes, and stack the white in 2-3 layers with the caramelly cookie cream, and coat the entire thing in chocolate ganache (with a little espresso powder). This would do great with coconut and/or almond in a form of preference, too.
@fishyfishyfishtimes
Unrestrained summer fun
* crazy tire-screeching noises*
Autism Warrior Mommy gets offended at the idea that maybe people shouldnβt treat healthcare workers like free use punching bags

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a lot of people fundamentally consider healthcare workers to be a sacrificial class of people
YES OMG BRΓNNHILDE
official library post
unfortunately I am not attractive enough to identify as a hot mess but I am definitely a room temperature inconvenience
if thereβs one thing 90s scifi loves itβs bdsm-coding its villains
the intention: being a sex freak is a marker of evilness and moral perversion
the effect: millions now want to be abducted and sexually tortured by hot leather-clad aliens
though to be fair to 90s scifi writers i think a lot of them also wanted to be abducted and sexually tortured by hot leather-clad aliens because scifi writers in general are massive perverts. two things can be true at once etc etc
If I ask nicely will people reblog this and tell me what their most common breakfast is? Not your favorite necessarily, just what you have for breakfast most frequently? ππ½

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kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous
you cant obtain me. tiger stance
Salicin
You ever come across a piece of information that's just "man, if I ever get thrown back in time to like the 1700s, this is really gonna come in handy."
Well I did. And I'm here to share it with you.
Most people know that there's a connection between the drug aspirin (acetylsalicylic acid) and the willow tree. Maybe erroneously that the willow tree contains acetylsalicylic acid.
It doesn't, but it does contain salicin.
Salicin is a plant hormone that is found in a ton of different plants. Those with really high concentrations of salicin include willow, poplar, meadowsweet, cramp bark, black haw, and wintergreen.
Salicin is also a crude NSAID. It blocks the inflammatory chemicals COX-1 and 2, TNF-alpha, and NF-K-beta, similar to other NSAIDs. This means it temporarily reduces pain and fever.
Note that unlike acetylsalicylic acid (ASA), salicin doesn't prevent platelets from sticking together. Salicin will do nothing for a heart attack.
Salicin also takes longer to work than ASA, because the body has to convert it from salicin to salicyl alcohol to the active salicylic acid, which can take over an hour. ASA works in about 30 minutes.
Salicin has much more significant GI side effects than ASA. Eating the whole plant material tends to attenuate this some, but extracts containing salicin are extremely hard on the stomach.
Salicin was all we had for fever for literally thousands of years, and basically the only non-opiate painkiller. It's descendant aspirin is the best selling drug of all time.
teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek
fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"
immortalizing this
& more

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happy skeleton warrior week, keep those bones strong!