The Wandering Word

hey duck

youre no good duck

youre never gonna be shit

ya just like ya fatha

I think more people need to learn the phrase "I don't know enough about that to have a strong opinion" its literally a cheat code for awkward conversations

its ok if you actually do know a lot about the thing and/or have strong opinions about it btw. you can just lie

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

I feel like I'm being seduced like one of those fancy rainforest birds

is it working

Yes

As a kid, I was really upset that Bill Watterson wouldn't license Calvin & Hobbes so I could have plushies or so there would be a Saturday morning cartoon. Now, I realize his resistance is the reason we don't have a Calvin & Hobbes DreamWorks movie starring Chris Pratt.

My ringing just went away for the first time in years. What is this blissful quiet.

wait wait i gotta try this, i don’t think i’ve had Actual Silence since i was like 5

HOW THE FUCK

Reblogging to save a life, and also because, even if you don’t have tinnitus, this is totally worth trying if you like new sensory experiences.  

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

Mewseum

guys i’m so sorry to say this but exercising and indulging in hobbies rather than scrolling on your phone for 200 hours actually does improve your mood and overall mental health, this has deeply upset me more than anyone

“they never explicitly looked at the camera and said ‘i am experiencing immense grief’ so how was i supposed to know??” i don’t know what to tell you, man. if a story doesn’t spoon-feed you the character's internal emotional state like a jar of mashed peas, you guys just willingly starve. subtext is not a myth, i promise it won't bite you.

I'm still gonna go forward with it, I just have to get more creative about it (thankfully it was just a sketch and not a canon fruit he used)