[This is my working title]

Why is everyone shitting on Chris Pratt lately? Did I miss something????

TL;DR That idiot Page accused him of being homophobic, and it stuck, despite the "evidence" being the equivalent of "I knew this guy who knew this guy who said..."

So, they’re basically angry at him over nothing, he’s just the latest acceptable celebrity target?

Pretty much, yeah.

That is incredibly stupid.

There's also "I assumed from his religion he was homophobic".

Yeah, those people tearing him down need an ass kicking.

People really will read the most innocuous of posts in the worst possible way, won't they?

This just in: People on the internet bully funny raptor man because he plays a Italian Plumber who fights turtles and eats mushrooms.

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

Is it a glitch or a feature?

Feature

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

Mousegirl conspiracy theorist handing you a folder of documents "And remember: This is just the tip of the miceberg."

they all have "topsqueakrat" stamped on them

very strong addition

Everyone’s like “those Germans have a word for everything” but English has a word for tricking someone into watching the music video for Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up.

English has a lot more words created for very specific phenomena! It’s not just rick-rolling. Language is always evolving and it’s super interesting! Here’s a list of hyper-specific/untranslatable words in English.

Some of these are fucking wild.

Welcome to Australia! Where a fast food restaurant literally made a mirrored reflective sea-gull proof packet for their fries so they don’t god damn try to fly down and steal your fries.

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen

liking a male character like hes my girlfriend hes my dad he is literally me i could fix him i could make him worse hes a whore hes my best friend hes my sworn enemy i just want to punch him i want to hold his hand i just want to send him to therapy