Hello, My Name is Fabulous

when men roll up their sleeves and show their slutty little forearms i wither away like a Victorian man seeing ankles for the first time

"don't celebrate mitch mcconnell's health problems!!!" you are weak and pathetic. i'm having a blast. i'm inviting bella hadid.

I didn’t know a train could be an eldritch horror, but here we are.

*says a fact in a conversation and a wikipedia citation appears next to my head*

*clicks the citation*

*text pops up saying “this is not true. He saw this in a youtube video once in 2014 and took it as fact”. the words “youtube video” are underlined and in blue”

*clicks on the link*

love that every starfleet ship has like 5000 people but there are only 7 we see & those 7 do everything

star trek heritage post (March 2nd, 2020)

be fucking pink and red with me for a minute

istill think temptress is the funniest word its my favourite like. youre tempting me and being suchhh a girl about it wtf =_=

Men! Get your ears pierced! That’s an order

Men! Don’t get it done at Claire’s or anywhere that uses a piercing gun! Go to a professional tattoo and piercing parlor! That’s an order!

Y'all're free to get your ears pierced if you like, but I have long maintained the secret to a long life is to avoid having pieces of steel driven through your body.

You are absolutely incorrect. The secret to a long life is being penetrated as many times as possible

Julius Cesar disagrees

He’s just built different

Phineas Gage is that u

Hang on I have to look something up

Yeah this is funny

i'm no medical expert but my one and only health tip i can offer with any confidence is to allow yourself to listen to bohemian rhapsody every once in a while in a setting where you can put your your whole entire life up to this moment into singing along with the part where freddie mercury says "i don't wanna die, but sometimes i wish i'd never been born at all" and feel a layer of dead scar tissue peel away from your existence before it can calcify

"We've decied to go with another candidate" No you did not, you got denied right from the outset and want to feel like you're still in control