This I Realize

I REALIZE I heard this song and it made me think of you. It wasn't the lyrics, it wasn't the voice, it wasn't even the meaning behind the words it was the BEAT that seemed to take over my whole soul. The tempo, the uniqueness of the beat and the gentle high tones allowed me to conjure up images of me and you.

As I listened over and over thoughts ran through my mind as to how I could pay tribute to a song that just for a moment in time allowed me to tap into my creative source. I envisioned scenes that would convey what I was feeling, scenes that put me almost in a dream state. I was able to see images of what was, what is and what could be. It reminded me how much you allow me to tap into my inner creative. How much I feel like elevating to a new level and ultimately how much I LOVE YOU. I REALIZE this.

I REALIZE that my ideals somehow always seem to get the best of me. I seem to have somehow way back when I was young allow myself to create this idealistic world. Where there really was a way to reach heights previously unheard of. Where dreams are reached, goals are attained, records are broken and love is ever lasting.

There seemed to be a picture that my mind could create instantly on what could be rather than what truly was. I was mesmerized by the thought that you really could attain the things that so many of our world has sworn is unattainable. This picture has been the foundation to my whole existence. However, I'm learning that sometimes foundations give way and risk the very structure of what lies on top of everything you have built.

What does it look like when your whole life’s philosophy seems to be at risk of being wrong? What happens when you REALIZE the storybook fantasies, cloudy sequences, happily ever after and movie endings were all delusions of grandeur?

I REALIZE a strong mind pushes past this mental breakdown. It surges past and doesn’t give heed to the resistance that plaque and corrodes our soul. However there comes a point in time when you seem to feel as if you can only charge ahead so much. Your mind begins to actually ask yourself, "Is this the reality, I mean is this just the way of the world."

The rose colored glasses you have worn your whole life don't just come off for a second they get smacked right off of your face. As you shake it off and begin to look around you seem to see the real world. A world filled with failure, betrayal, deceit, average and status quo supporters.

I often wonder when in this "Real" world do you slowly begin to develop your ideals again. Can it be that the ones you see "Making it" in this real world have just REALIZED it's "REAL" and learned how to navigate through the muck, possibly use to their advantage at times and even partake in the dirtiness of this world OR did they secretly transport back into their very own idealistic state only to fend off the demons that brought them to the "Real" world in the first place?

I’m not sure what the answer is. If I was to answer now in this state of REALIZATION I would say, they have learned how to move around in the real world. However, tomorrow when I wake, I may begin drawing a new picture in my mind…..After all it’s what I’ve done my whole life!

I REALIZE I feel this insatiable hunger to teach. To share with others what I know and mentor, mold, advise and consult on the many things that swirl around in my soul. As strong as these REALIZATIONS and feelings are I'm stopped dead in my tracks by the RESISTANCE.

For those of you that aren't familiar with the RESISTANCE it’s that INNER VOICE that sneaks up on you when you have a great new idea, or that little WHISPER that seems to knock you down when you feel like standing up.

There may have been a time when you wanted to do something new, raise your hand when you were 100% certain you had the answer, rush to your bosses office with a new way of doing your work, tell that girl your dating you love her, start a blog that would reveal who you truly are but ultimately, YOU NEVER DID.

You were BLOCKED by the RESISTANCE. Steven Presfield in his book "The War of Art" writes in detail about it and I learned about it from my mentor and hero Seth Godin.

Seth speaks a little more in detail about a part of our mind called the Lizard Brain, A real part of our mind that is built to fight off danger, to protect us from harm so back in the prehistoric days this part of our brain told us to run.

What I learned most was that now I had a name to call these FEELINGS that seemed to pop up whenever my soul felt the COURAGE to stand up in a crowd of boring and try something new. I could now understand what was taking place and the INTERNAL BATTLE that wages WAR between my mind and my soul. I understand part of the RESISTANCE that I'm experiencing is when I feel this great exhilarating feeling of wanting to teach. My lizard brain kicks in and says "Who are you, you haven't even mastered what you want to teach others so how can you give guidance?" "How can you share something if when you get called out you can't show the million followers you have on twitter, the thousand downloads on your podcast, the hundred subscriptions on your blog feed or the thousand views on your YouTube page."

So after I feel this motivation to GO, be BOLD, STRECH and reach for PERSONAL GREATNESS I'm inflicted with whispers such as that. These WHISPERS become silent screams shouting out every time you even begin to take a step forward. I don't know about you but that is tough. Its real I tell you and it makes you double think exactly the things that are right in your grasp of achieving personal greatness.

One of the best things that have come from my mentor and hero Seth Godin is now allowing me to at least identify what it is. I can now at least see my enemy and give him a name, and in doing so I now can strategize how to defeat him.

I share this with you so hopefully you now can REALIZE how the lizard brain and RESISTANCE has kept you from your best work. In fact I just REALIZED in writing down today’s REALIZATION I scored a victory over the RESISTANCE because I got a chance to share and teach something today, which is exactly what I told you earlier the RESISTANCE set out to prevent.

I REALIZE there is a real SABOTEUR of love. He lurks around couple to couple just waiting for the moment a SPARK of love ignites within one of these individuals. He has a SIXTH SENSE allowing him to know the PERFECT moment when his WEAPON of destruction will do what he was bread to do...SABOTAGE.

He somehow CREEPS into the mind of an unsuspecting soul and unleashes his weapon of DOUBT, TEMPTATION, GREED, SELFISHNESS, LONELINESS and a host of other SABOTAGING emotions. This ENTITY, this destructive force thrives off of pain. He seems to smile at heartache and he loves the sight of sadness. Happiness angers him and in his path he will have no part in TRUE LOVE. It’s not natural to him and he lives to make sure the best of the best that love fall in his wake.

The worst part about him is he TARGETS the PUREST of the pure. He seems to seek out the one who is good in their core, the one who has morals and integrity and he sets out to ROT them at all costs.

It’s considered a HUGE victory to score one of the good ones. He delights himself in seeing them fall just like the rest.

He is the DEVIL in another form, the dark that ruins the LIGHT, the black that covers the WHITE, the evil that overpowers the GOOD and the sadness that now hovers over the JOY.

I REALIZE he is real.

I REALIZE thoughts ran through my head as I sat in an airplane heading to NY. I wonder if these thoughts occur in the many passengers that fly the friendly air ways and I wonder if they REALIZE what I seem to.

I thought about what would happen if this PLANE WENT DOWN. I asked myself, have I truly done all I've wanted to do. Have I exhausted myself trying to be WHO I want to be? Have I MANIFESTED the life I dreamed about when I was young and would sit around with friends and say "Wow, I won't be twenty something until the year 2000."

Did I give of myself today to others? Was MEAN and ANGRY and held a grudge. Would I be CONTENT that at this moment, before I perish, I was the MAN God created me to be, and I REALIZED the answer was NO.

I CAN'T go, not yet, not now. There's TOO MUCH for me to do, too many WORDS for me to say, too much for me to CREATE, too much for me to SHARE and too much LOVE I need to GIVE.

During those moments, as I sat and thought about my REALIZATION I had another one. I REALIZED that I was sitting in a mechanical machine, engineered by MEN, in the air thousands of feet above the ground. I looked out my window seat and I could actually see bolts welded in the plane. I could see moving parts and metal all constructed to allow me to do exactly what I'm doing now.

With that REALIZATION HOW COULD I NOT touch the ground again and know ANYTHING is possible. How could ANYBODY not touch the ground again and know we just experienced a MIRACLE.

There is WORK that needs to be done, MOVEMENTS that need to be sparked, IDEAS that need to be generated and LEGACY'S needed to be left. It’s not my time, neither was it anyone else on that plane. So I say GO and REALIZE your GREATNESS.

I REALIZE I wondered today what the meaning of parent hood really is. Now, I'm not a parent so I don't really know what prompted my mind to dwell upon this subject nor can I relate to exactly what you parents feel and face but I did have curious thoughts that may go against the grain. I wonder if being a parent is more about PREPARING another human soul to be better than you are, to spawn a new generation of CHANGE MAKERS, LEADERS, and ACHIEVERS. What must it be like to have a child come into the world and not have a book, map, hotline, emergency button or any of the other things we always have when we can't answer a question or find our way? What do you do? Do you begin to form your own opinion of how they should be? Do you plan a life for them, lay a path for them, give the world to them? Do you push your dreams, goals and wishes for them or do you let them GO, observe them, free them, uplift them and give to them? WHAT IF the role of a parent is to mentor and CREATE a producer, an artist, a CREATOR.

What if your suppose to plant seeds, place obstacles, put in place situations and challenging decisions. What if your suppose to train rigorously and introduce the things of this world that are hard and unconventional. What if your SUPPOSE to push them to the brink, make them sweat, tear them down and build them up. What if your suppose to train them, teach them, practice with them and observe them only to tell them to do it all over again and again and again.

What if your child is not your child but your chance to to leave a legacy!!

I REALIZE you’re my greatest friend and biggest enemy, my constant companion and my annoying sidekick. You WHISPER ever so gently yet scream so amazingly loud. I know I should surrender to you at times yet you keep me at bay enjoying the control you have over me.

We've battled for some time now and at times when I WIN the feeling I get is indescribable. Yet the times when I lose I'm forced to contemplate why or worse I just have to admit it. We are supposed to be on the SAME TEAM yet at times you often go out on your own.

You make me see GREEN and red and at times those colors keep me close to the EDGE. It's at those times when I lose you and you seem to go blank convincing yourself that choice is right.

Our relationship is like a patron and a good movie, except you choose to only play the best movies at certain times and others you enjoy making me sit through the HORROR ones. You’re a glutton for punishment and you enjoy replaying the reel over and over.

You’re the DEVIL in disguise and GOD almighty. WHO ARE YOU??

MY MIND!!

I REALIZE what a flat tire can teach you. This morning I rose out of bed excited and ready to start my new week. I had bought some new supplements to help get my body, mind and energy system in place so that I can continue on my overall goal of body mind mastery. As I began my day I walked outside only to find my car lopsided. I immediately knew and at that moment I literally could feel my mind on the EDGE of a cliff.

As my mind thought, it sent a signal straight to my brain and my mind was on the edge of SELF DESTRUCTION or SELF EMPOWERMENT. I REALIZED at that moment I literally felt the POWER of choice. Choose self destruction and launch a series of acts and thoughts that would have an impact on my day, "why me, no not now, really??, and a host of other debilitating emotions. Choose self empowerment and launch a set of entirely different emotions and thoughts that push you to another level, "oh well, let's get it done, what do I have to do to get this done, where are my tools, how fast can I finish so I can get back on track". Take a second and REALIZE the LEAP from self-destruction to self-empowerment all done by one millisecond of thought. Notice how many times this EDGE happens in so many different scenarios of your daily life.

I'm glad I chose the edge of self empowerment because my day couldn't be better and I'm now in the gym as regularly scheduled writing my REALIZATION and exercising my mind as planned.

I REALIZE the most powerful thing we all face every single day is CHOICE. Every day whether you know it or not theirs a battle waging war within our hearts, mind and soul. We as humans have been given this power, the power to choose what well say, how we act, what well feel, and a host of other invisible everyday actions.

This road of choice has many twists and turns that seem to never be straight enough to get you back to where you started. Everything is different after a choice is made. The wheels have been set in motion and the invisible power has taken you just a little further down your own personal road.

You choose how you use your tongue. The words you speak resonate one way or another with someone. You choose when faced with the temptation of the natural world what choice you'll ultimately make. You choose the way you treat your body, you choose who you give your body too. You get to choose where you work, you choose the type of work you want to do. You choose the seeds you sow and you choose the intention of your actions.

Every day we make millions of tiny choices that lead down INFINITE roads. The power of choice leads me to one of my favorite stories I shared a while back.

One evening a Cherokee elder told his grandson about the battle that goes on inside of people. He said “My son, the battle is between two wolves that live inside us all. One is unhappiness; it is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self pity, resentment and inferiority. The other is happiness. It is joy, love, hope serenity, kindness, generosity, truth and compassion”. The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather “Which wolf wins”. The old Cherokee simply replied “The ONE YOU FEED”.

I REALIZE I'm fighting an enemy that's bigger than me. He's taller, stronger, powerful in more ways than one and he even knows how to BEAT me. How do you defend yourself against something so strong? It’s not even like he uses BRUTE FORCE to beat me.

He's CUNNING in every sense of the word. He slys right in, picking the precise moments when I'm at my weakest. He uses MANIPULATION, VISUALIZATION, IMAGES and MIND GAMES to keep me at my lowest. He WHISPERS more than he yells. He hugs me more than punches me and he even convinces me that it’s not him……. IT'S ME.

His strength is one that it has the POWER to DESTROY OTHERS around me. He talks to them, reveals my weaknesses and makes them think twice about me. How do you train yourself for something like this? How do you PROTECT yourself from such a fierce opponent?

I guess you can back down and let it win every time, always giving it more and more power to eventually control the rest of your life or you could FIGHT back, RISKING getting beat over and over again but in this case losing each time takes pieces of you little by little.

You may be guessing who "HE" is. "HE" is my................ FEARS!!!

I REALIZE there’s a WAR going on between my brain and my heart. They seem to battle for control over my future. They know my actions will reflect the WINNERS VOICE and they have no shame in what the aftermath will be when their done.

The brain is the voice of reason. It THINKS, CONTEMPLATES, RATIONALIZES, ANALYZES and SORTS out the many different signals that flood my body. It tells me quietly things that it knows is right. It lets me know not to say something when my heart is pushing so hard for me to actually say it.

It’s like there's a string on the end of my thoughts and my mind pulls back not letting me go over the edge. Yet it seems the good ole heart is right there with a sharp pair of scissors gladly cutting away.

My heart is the centerpiece of my being. It floods me with emotions and breathes life into my existence. However, it also has a wall just high enough so nobody can get in. The heart wants to stay safe, no disruptions, no shake up, just steady beating so it doesn't get hurt. The heart battles the minds rationale. It will quickly send a shivering signal through your body reminding you of the potential DANGER one can face when opening up.

This war has become apparent to me in more ways than one. It makes me say things I really don't want to say. It makes me think things in ways that probably nobody else is thinking. I REALIZE this war has very high stakes. The winner feels peace, joy and LOVE. The loser see's rejection and feels Loneliness.

I REALIZE for me BEAUTY is like a spark in the night. It STARTS out as a dim light trying to come alive. After repeated motion over and over the SPARK quickly turns into a FLAME.

There may be times when you see something and you take notice. It strikes out at you and your mind quickly forms an opinion and responds. You say to yourself "She's beautiful" and you try to look harder. You observe and you watch.

I REALIZE something else begins to happen though. As you look deeper, spend more time together, absorb more, see more, do more the flame begins to get brighter. Just like the spark that grows into a flame, beauty grows into beautiful.

There is a flame in your heart that begins to burn bright. It generates a white hot heat that enhances all your senses. It pushes on the skin and radiates through your eyes. You take in the goodness of that beauty. It STRIKES out at you more and more just as the fire burns bright and deep.

I REALIZE beauty is all around us. It is your job to take notice of the SPARKS that fly around you. Give birth to a FLAME that’s worth burning bright and REALIZE how beautiful things may become.

I REALIZE change is inevitable. This REALIZATION is not new for me nor is it one that I oppose to. I actually consider myself an AGENT OF CHANGE. I seek out and embrace constant, evolving, innovative change.

However there was a moment recently that caught me by surprise. It reminded me just how easy it is to get sucked into the NORM. I was in Publix the other day (Our local supermarket) and I was buying the normal items I usually get after a workout, eggs, oatmeal, protein powder and sometimes grapes. I was going down the aisle about to pick up my two boxes of strawberry oats when I REALIZED they were gone.

I looked up, down, side to side and nothing. All I saw were items I had never seen before. What the ***. I raised my hands and stood for a second thinking to myself "What the hell"

I looked around some more and as I turned around, there they were. Boxes of oatmeal moved to a different place, not in the order I usually find them and there wasn’t even the amount that usually are there.

I quickly REALIZED how upset I had gotten. I mumbled under my breath and cursed Publix for wasting my time. I asked myself why they couldn’t just leave them where they were. What was the point of moving them? Why would they inconvience me like that?

As I grabbed my two boxes and headed toward the checkout line I REALIZED what had happened. I REALIZED that the mere act of disrupting my normal sequence and routine roused me up so much so that I actually was MAD at Publix, as crazy as that is. It made me reflect for a moment and dig deeper into what actually had just taken place.

If you read this carefully you'll notice this isn’t a story about me getting mad cause Publix moved the oatmeal, it's a story about LIFE,  a story about YOU, YOU and YES....YOU.

We resist, we push away, get angry, shield ourselves and curse the change all around us. The change that may break your habits, the change that may break your marriage, the change that may make you quit the one that may make you sick. There's a change that may break you open and there's change that may put you on the path you've always wanted to walk on.

I should have been happy instead of mad. I should have applauded Publix for having the courage to recognize change was needed. They took a risk and I REALIZE the safest thing you can do is be risky and the riskiest thing you can do is be safe.

I REALIZE I have a new prayer. A while back I wrote a REALIZATION about how my prayers were being answered. For as long as I can remember every morning and every night I would pray that God show me my own personal way. That he would allow me to step into my light, my own personal path to achieving my purpose.

All my life I've dreamed and prayed that I lived a life that MATTERED, that contributed in some way shape or form to something so much bigger than just myself. I would ask him daily to let my talents and gifts shine bright. Allow me to live a life MEANING. Allow me to work a job that wasn't just my job but my CALLING. One where my skills and unique talents were being pushed to their limits and everyday was a challenging work of ART that mattered.

I recall mornings where I prayed so hard there would be tears. Because I knew that morning as I prayed I would be going somewhere I didn't belong, that didn't contribute or didn't matter. As I wrote this past REALIZATION I remember something changing. A SHIFT taking place where my mornings were no longer filled with TEARS they were filled with JOY. My thoughts were no longer SEARCHING they were CREATING and I no longer seemed to aimlessly WANDER I began to form a MISSION.

As I prayed this morning I REALIZED a new prayer. Since the shift, this prayer seems to dig deep into God allowing me to continue to be free. Free from conformity and mediocrity, free from the fears that jam up our creative desires. I seem to wake up every morning NOW and ask God to continue to allow me to build castles in the sky. To continue to allow me to dream a life THAT CAN BE rather than WHAT IS. I want to think with NO WALLS and create blueprints in my mind.

I REALIZE this prayer asks for no WALLS, no FEAR, no WORRYS and no DOUBT.

I REALIZE money is the ROOT of all evil. I once heard, people who believe that say so because they have none but I beg to differ. I've witnessed firsthand how money RUINS, ROBS and RAPES peoples souls.

It seems to change who you are from the CORE or maybe just maybe it has a way of REVEALING who you've always been. I REALIZE I seem to have a love hate relationship with money.

There's a part of me that's not built the way others are, constantly holding and hoarding, scheming and sneaking, manipulating and maneuvering all for the love of MONEY. This green paper seems to make people sell out their friends, do things they would never do, lie, steal, cheat, or anything else that would morally corrupt your soul. Yet it somehow seems to convince you that you were justified.

I look at the many tragedies that were all had over MONEY, the bank robberies that landed someone in jail for life, the home invasions that ended up in murder, the white collar corporate embezzlement that no one ever suspected, the fraud from your most trusted business, the investment scheme that just fueled a lifestyle, and partnerships that ended were all due to someone’s greed for MONEY.

Why do we allow ourselves to be overtaken by PAPER?? Why do we lose all sense of self in return for what we perceive to be happiness? One thing that I've REALIZED is that one way or another we all learn in the end. We all come to a point in our life where we question "Is this it" and I REALIZE the “Paper Chasers" come to that day faster than others!

I REALIZE I've adopted a new learning method that allows me to learn at a MUCH FASTER RATE. I don't have a name for it yet nor do I even know if it’s a well know way of learning but I have REALIZED it works.

What I do is take a SUBJECT I need to be more familiar with and/or don't know much about and gather articles, notes and printouts on the subject. I then begin to WRITE an email or note to myself PRETENDING the note is to a client or friend and while writing the note or email to myself I act like I’m already an EXPERT on the SUBJECT.

I write and as I'm writing I VISUALIZE an overview of what the subject is about. I think in terms of BULLET POINTS and allow myself to just write while ENVISIONONING. If I happen to get stuck or second guess myself I just refer to the notes in front of me about that subject matter.

What I REALIZE happens is that while writing I'm thinking and visualizing. Since my mind is working while I'm writing it seems to register into my SUBCONCIOUS mind and I truly believe it leaves IMPRINTS that stay there for me to access at a later time.

I REALIZE this allows me to LEARN at a faster rate leaving behind the most important parts about the subject I'm trying to learn. Again this may not be a revelation to some but for me it’s a big REALIZATION.

The act of writing AS IF I'm an expert already and when needed I just read the information in front of me to complete the note or email allows my mind to learn at a much faster pace and position me to eventually becoming a credible resource in that area.