The bird

They’re so evil looking

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

The christian family in these memes (which are absolutely all over facebook these days) genuinely do always look miserable. Who the fuck is relating to these stock mormon farm cultists. That is a couple who made love only once in pitch darkness with bags on their heads then celebrated the pregnancy with a feast of uncooked potatoes and warm tapwater. The baby seems intrigued though. Maybe only by the bottle of pills??

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

- people are still wearing jaguar print. I like this. don’t let it die

ohhh okay! amendment: cars will actively try to kill you for being small and made of flesh, instead of cool and metal like them

The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes

get peer reviewed, because fucking. yeah.

hey. hey bestie. i have some pronouns over here you might like, come with me. you can leave that "he/they" over there, you don't need it anymore.

LOOKING FOR REASONS IS REASON ENOUGH. BE A GIRL TODAY RIGHT NOW

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

This is what Dinopants looks like to me btw

And more about him on Artfight

Its surprisingly tasty????

-Agua pepino: water, cucumbers, lime, sugar, optional mint.

-shrub: vinegar, sida water, elderberry (or other berry), sugar.

-sekanjabin: honey, vinegar, mint, water.

"... ah."

YOU from Real Life is asexual!