sudo apt install SWAG!!!

So: we know that the alpha trolls were *not* the ones that Karkat saw when he was in the ecto labs, since in page 3470 he says that he doesn't know what happened to them. If he saw his ancestor on the screen, he would have known what happened, meaning that the beta trolls' ecto-goo mixed to create the alpha trolls (assuming we're going on the theory that instead of straight clones, the trolls have ecto-parents.)

SO: who's the parents of who? Note that these might be bad.

We see the lab equipment Karkat used, and it has *three* tubes per row, meaning three ecto people mixed to create three ecto kids. Assuming that we're working with a Prospit/Derse divide like in the human sessions, we now have to figure out which groups of three make the most sense to create the alpha trolls. Note that when I say things like 'sibling' and 'child', I mean it in an ecto sense. None of these people have any concept of that, and even if they did troll genetics would make it an inane concept, regardless.

PROSPIT:

On Prospit, we have Karkat, Terezi, Vriska, Tavros, Gamzee, and Kanaya. We need to look at any and all similarities we can find in the alpha trolls to see any and all likely 'parents'.

The first thing that stands out is how Porrim and Rufioh are both lusted after in the session, with Porrim having many quadrant mates, and Rufioh getting with both Damara and Horrus, which implies that they may be ecto-siblings, especially since they are the only ones given that treatment.

Another grouping are Vriska and Terezi, given both their status as "the crux axis of the story," according to Hussie, as well as similarities in appearance, like Latula's and Aranea's hair.

So, that leaves Gamzee and Karkat to make two groups of three. The question is now to see which pairings make the most sense to have either Kankri or Kurloz.

In my opinion, given how close Kankri and Porrim are in both scratch iterations, and Gamzee having a (toxic) relationship with Terezi, I am personally inclined to put the groups as thus:

Kankri, Porrim, and Rufioh are 'siblings' via the mixing of Karkat, Kanaya, and Tavros.

Latula, Aranea, and Kurloz are 'siblings' via the mixing of Terezi, Vriska, and Gamzee.

DERSE:

On the Derse side of things, we have Aradia, Sollux, Nepeta, Equius, Eridan, and Feferi. A tangent, but Sollux, despite having two dreamselves, is going to be counted in the Derse group, since if he were Prospit it'd be an uneven grouping.

I am more hesitant to write this section, to be honest, as I was already working on thin, thin threading, and seeing this half, I urge you, the reader, to prepare yourself to enter the utter bullshit zone, where bullshit is possible, accepted, and readily available.

As an example, given the relationship between Aradia, Sollux, and Equius, given the whole Aradiabot situation, I am putting those three as the 'parents' of Damara, Mituna, and Horrus, leaving Feferi, Eridan, and Nepeta to be the 'parents' of Meenah, Cronus, and Meulin.

Reverse engineering this to see if I can draw that conclusion without having already decided on Aradia, Sollux, and Equius, you can make an argument for those three, like how Meenah talks in a similar style to Eridan, contracting words and not including the 'g's in words ending in 'ing'. You can also say that Feferi and Meulin are sort of similar, and their hair has similar curls in it, and Nepeta was the target of Eridans advances at one point - but that one's flimsy, everyone was.

So, for Derse, we have:

Aradia, Sollux, and Equius mix to create Damara, Mituna, and Horrus

And Feferi, Nepeta, and Eridan mix to create Meenah, Meulin, and Cronus.

ALL IN ALL:

Karkat + Kanaya + Tavros = Kankri, Porrim, and Rufioh.

Vriska + Terezi + Gamzee = Aranea, Latula, and Kurloz.

Aradia + Sollux + Equius = Damara, Mituna, and Horrus.