spycheck! (sets you on fire)

Jettison is like one of the top 10 words in the english language, get that fucking thing out of here at a notable velocity

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

I love when humans go "I just feel so connected to nature 🥺" like uh, yeah, you're made of meat.

I AM A MAN THAT'S MADE OF MEAT.

you're on the internet looking at FEET 🫵😂

went to the beach ten minutes after an actual thunderstorm and got so cold i started coming up with a “fish” cover of creep by Radiohead which I was singing out loud over and over again. imagine me waist deep in the waves no feeling in my legs getting over a cold voice singing “i wish i was urchin. you’re so fucking urchin”

People love simple, extremely practical things. I hope you win!

Unfortunately you will talk like a tumblr user for your entire life. Sorry.

Unfortunately your kids might also talk like Tumblr users. My daughter said "Get cherished, idiot" to her cat yesterday.

Children usually do pick up their parents' native languages, yes

Incredible faces OP, love how loose the lines are and the expressions/profiles are brilliant

books should have a bloopers section with all the most memorable typos

Hudson was 40 by the way

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]

hi. i’m the guy who all that blood belongs to. yeah in all the pictures of anime girls and cool ocs holding knives. it’s mine. i don’t donate it or anything. they just kill me again and again. because someone’s gotta but that’s not the part people really wanna see. it’s okay though. it’s a living

Just want to add that if you're on the spectrum, you may also experience Autistic Rumination, which is distinct from the obsessive variety, despite the two having some overlapping characteristics!