he’s tryin his best okay
occasionally subtle
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
tumblr dot com
Jules of Nature
NASA

sheepfilms
styofa doing anything
Stranger Things

⁂

ellievsbear
DEAR READER
$LAYYYTER

hello vonnie

@theartofmadeline

shark vs the universe
Cosimo Galluzzi

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@thestrawberryfool
he’s tryin his best okay

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If Sherlock Holmes was Isekai'd to a fantasy world he would just deduce the rules of this world and get back to solving crimes. He'll find an elf girl sidekick,name her Watson, and pretend like nothing happened.
"If you look closely, you can see traces of chalk dust on the floor. Our murderer must have used a magic circle to kill our victim."
"Actually Holmes, this looks like salt. Quite unusual for a magic circle, since it can be scattered so easily..."
"It tastes like salt too. Good eye Watson. Let us start by visiting the fish mongers."
"Well I would enjoy some fried dragonfish, but how does this help our investigation?"
"A process of elimination, my long-eared friend. There're only two ways for the culprit to get salt in the city. They could have brought it in themselves-"
"But then they'd have to pay the tarrif!"
"Very astute! No, a much likelier option is that they bought it here. Either the docks or the meat market would be the place. And I have a hunch that our culprit is fishy in more ways than one."
"But Holmes, how did you know the merfolk ambassador was the killer?"
"An excellent question, the key was the footprints."
"But he doesn't even have feet!"
"He doesn't as of right now. But you forget, the magic circle."
"I see! The killing spell was a water spear, which normally requires a circle."
"But doesn't if you're already imbued with water magic like our scaly ambassador."
"So the circle..."
"To grant him a pair of feet. For just long enough to leave distinctive footprints in the scattered salt and to make us suspect a two-legged killer."
"By the Goddess, Holmes, you're a genius!"
Makes sense.
Anyway, getting sheer autism vibes from Holmes
Good. That means I wrote him in-character.
in absolute tears about the pride module at my work
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...
Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).
happy first day of pride everyone
When I was at the natural history museum, the fossil section had stickers on the glass to engage children - things like "Flap your arms like a pterodactyl" or "Measure your hand against the mosasaurus." However the first of these I encountered, which I found alarming and threatening without context, was a sticker reading "Struggle like you are stuck in a tar pit"
I feel like more bright colors, an exclamation mark, or a more whimsical font choice would've also helped here to indicate that it is a Fun Activity For Children. Instead it felt like getting instructed in my inevitable fate by a road sign
Apollo 17 vs Artemis II
Despite everything, it's still you.
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Also prev tags:
That's really cool actually
#excuse me but are you telling me that the Apollo pic is made with the help of the SUN and the Artemis one with the help of the MOON??? #that's actually so poetic i want to cry
@gorandomshesaid wait i need to sit with this one. wait.

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Alex Hirsch is a treasure
not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally
what mutual is prev
my liege lord
my loyal knight
my wise wizard
my evil advisor
my brother in arms
my lady muse
my wild mermaid friend
my fellow alchemist
my dashing rapscallion
my monstrous foe
spiders are literally the silliest funniest animals ever in the world but most people are too frightened of them to notice their humorous and whimsical appeal. but don't worry spiders. i see your silly. i see your shenanigans. even if most people don't see it. i see it. i love you spiders
I’m a little bit annoyed at popular humor that characterizes menstruation as the uterus throwing a fit because it wants a baby. no it doesn’t. here’s my alternative anthropomorphic script. it’s no less embarrassing but at least I’m right:
henchperson: uh, boss? You know how a couple weeks ago, me and the girls put up that barrier against invaders, extra thick, just like you asked?
boss: yes…
henchperson: one thing, though, boss…
boss: out with it.
henchperson: weeeel, the good news is no invaders.
boss: and the bad news?
henchperson: weeeeeel, we made it out of wet tissue again, boss. so we’re going to have to peel it off and put up a new one before it gets all nasty, see?
boss: why is everything wet tissue with you people? get that thing out of my sight!
one time I told my therapist "I tend to have issues with people who think of themselves as authority figures" and she burst out laughing and then said "I think we need to pause and reflect on how you phrased that"

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hbo max blocks screenshots even when I use the snipping tool AND firefox AND ublock which is a fucking first. i will never understand streaming services blocking the ability to take screenshots thats literally free advertising for your show right there. HOW THE HELL IS SOMEBODY GONNA PIRATE YOUR SHOW THROUGH SCREENSHOTS. JACKASS
somewhere out there is a guy who meticulously takes screenshots of every individual frame of his favorite tv shows and then painstakingly etches each one onto a roll of film which he puts into his old timey projector and recreates the footage as a silent film with his own lavishly hand-lettered dialogue cards and original score that he plays on his upright piano and charges audiences one shiny penny a play. at last, big media has finally outsmarted ol' Zachary Zoetrope
PSA for everyone who doesn't know, explained simply
this is NOT because of blocking screenshots, it's because of HOW streaming sites use your computer's hardware to optimise performance, which means the thing rendering the video and the thing capturing your screen aren't the SAME thing. so they can't talk together.
you can fix this by going to your browser settings, searching for "hardware acceleration", and turning that off.
This also fixes screen sharing to other screens. It has been GODSEND
type this in the toolbar to find this setting in firefox: about:preferences#searchResults
ol' Zachary Zoetrope is back in business!
do you guys wanna see my favorite video on the internet yes you do
HES SO HAPPY HE JUST LOVES FANS SO MUCH
Putting teaboot's tags here too because this joy for life needs to be shared I think
underrated ship dynamic is 'they deserve each other /derogatory'
Not pertinent to anything in particular but I do think it's kinda weird that we keep depicting cavemen in media crawling around on all fours covered in dirt with tangled, matted hair, speaking in broken, cobbled-together toddler language when like.
They were us.
Like literally genetically they were US, just like. A while ago.
Like
Would you trust a TV caveman with a baby? Probably not
A real life caveman though??? I think they'd be at least okay at it
This is actually really important and comes up in Anthropology classes all. The. Time.
As long as homo sapiens have existed, we have had the same emotional and mental capacity as you and I do today. You nailed it. They were US. Even Neaderthals existed alongside and had offspring with Homo Sapiens for many thousands of years.
There's much evidence that cavemen would have had complex spoken language, culture (learned information passed down), symbolic interpretation, and I think they most certainly would have been able to handle holding a baby. In fact I have my suspicisions that an ancient homo sapiens mother may be a more present, attentive, and knowledgable mom than I could be today.
Do not let media trick you into believing we are the pinnacle of humanity. Unilinial evolution theory (google it quick I beg) is BUNK, GARBAGE, and the root of so much evil.
We've been human for a long, long time, and we are not inherently better than all those who came before.
One the most profound experiences of my life was visiting Font de Gaume, which has 12 thousand year old paintings. They use a technique where the horses appeared to run across the wall when seen in flickering firelight. There was a bison the wall staring at us with such attitude, I could practically hear him. I had the most profound feeling of those ancient artists reaching forward to lay their hands on my shoulders. To say, "This was my world." It was a profoundly moving experience.
Some years later, I went to the Orkney islands where we visited a tiny family run museum of artifacts from the chambered tomb at the other end of the farm. They handed me a pestle once held by some neolithci human.They'd worn groves where the thumb and forefinger would be for better grip.
One time, in a French history class, my teacher randomly at the end of the class had all of us draw a sketch of a horse. And we were all like ??? Okay???
At the beginning of the next class, my teacher showed us a cave painting of a horse. And then he showed all of our horses, which he had scanned and put into the presentation.
He then pointed out all the ways that our horses looked similar to the prehistoric horse. Same features, drawn from the same angle, etc.
And then he asked us, "Isn't it cool that you draw horses the same way as someone who lived 20,000 years ago?"
Yeah. That stuck with me for a while.
In Spain, there's a cave full of ancient, ice age era drawings of bison and reindeer and other animals of that period... And one small section of chaotic scribbles just a little away from everything else. These scribblesv were so incomprehensible, they were originally just called the 'Panel of Enigmatic Signs'... Until it occurred to someone that drawings only three feet off the ground probably weren't made by adults.
Scientists are now pretty sure the scribbles were made by kids ages 3-6, more or less on their own. The adult cave artists were probably doing what any modern parent might do when they want to keep small children out of their hair for awhile: they gave the kids some drawing tools of their own and a small section of wall to work on, out of the way but still close enough to keep an eye on them, and let them have at it.
What's most charming about the whole thing is the way the cave scribbles look exactly like what you'd find on the wall of a preschool today. Artistic styles vary widely across different times and cultures, but child development is as near to a universal human experience as it gets.
Wisher made detailed 3D scans of the drawings, which helped her understand the uneven pressure applied to the charcoal and the direction the lines were drawn. The team then compared the panel’s composition with age-appropriate artistic efforts by modern children. Kids across cultures go through the same developmental stages, which influence their physical ability to draw, until about the age of 6, Amir notes.
The team compared the ancient art with the developmental stages exhibited by modern children: the furiously scribbled circles and push-pull lines typical of 3-year-olds just learning to control their bodies, for example, or the wobbly, right-angled figures of slightly older kids beginning to master fine motor skills.
Both are apparent in the cave, superimposed on each other as though two or more kids were drawing at once. That’s a clue the Las Monedas marks were likely made by “siblings or a mixed-age play group within the sphere of safety around adults, but also within their own space,” says co-author Felix Riede, an Aarhus archaeologist.
...
Adults at Las Monedas would have been aware of what the kids were doing and presumably had lit fires or torches; without ample firelight the cave is pitch black.
These are the scribbles in question!!!
atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin
agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

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in the Egyptian wing of the museum and my boyfriend is like "what are all the time periods of ancient Egypt" and I'm like predynastic, early dynastic, old kingdom which is when the pyramids were built, first intermediate, middle kingdom, second intermediate, new kingdom which includes amarna period and yugioh, third intermediate, and then all the late period stuff and macedonian and roman eras. and he's like run that by me one more time
An older comic from when I used to work at Build-A-Bear