fuck my stupid baka life I should have been a male black widow backflipping into death via wild cannibalistic sexual behavior
@pangur-and-grim
does. does that say blackflip. the black widows blackflip????

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fuck my stupid baka life I should have been a male black widow backflipping into death via wild cannibalistic sexual behavior
@pangur-and-grim
does. does that say blackflip. the black widows blackflip????

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A lot of people are ragging on the 'cable diverted to avoid Dobby's grave after Harry Potter fans raise a stink' thing and while I also love ragging on Harry Potter fans being weird, in this case it looks like the story was completely made up.
tl;dr: There's no evidence the interview that this was mentioned in even exists, no evidence the route of the cable has ever changed, and the whole story seems to originate from one dude's podcast.
The story also broke into mainstream via the Daily Mail, who are ... rarely if ever honest or accurate.
Direct Link to post
This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!
This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.
WHAT?
The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.
WHAT?????
Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?
Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.
https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook
Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.
WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL
This is very true lol
Yo what the f u c k
not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important?????
I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.
What the fuck
i-
….thank you tumblr??
hm.
I legit thought this was a shitpost until I saw the rest of the comments
I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, too.
Well I never
As a general rule of thumb, do not push air into any bodily orifice, regardless of gender. It never ends well. Air compressors and the human body do NOT mix.
Not even the mouth, shit can rupture a lung.
do you guys wanna see my favorite video on the internet yes you do
HES SO HAPPY HE JUST LOVES FANS SO MUCH
Putting teaboot's tags here too because this joy for life needs to be shared I think
in absolute tears about the pride module at my work
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...
Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).
happy first day of pride everyone

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Will humanity ever be free of the influence of Edna Mode? Can any of us so much as consider the character design for a hero or villain without her manifesting in the room, fully aware of our sins?
You know what, another layer of difficulty is when you’re thinking about villains, and the wise words of Megamind come into your head. You don’t just want your child to be just a regular villain. But how do you make your villain a Supervillain with no cape? Where is the drama? But Edna says no capes, you must deny them the flair. It is impossible to please them both, and it’s tearing this family apart.
you. you get it.
(tags via @jeremiahsmysteriosotouch)
Counteroffer: Big dramatic cloak to protect your identity that you drop on the floor before every fight
#there are two wolves inside you #one is edna mode #the other is megamind (@remnantofahero)
I can’t believe the compromise is Obi-Wan Kenobi
“No capes!”
“Game on, then.”
Okay, but I love that Gandalf is just dropping his cloak to reveal another, slightly smaller cloak underneath it.
World Heritage Post
Important note! Megamind’s cape has a button to detach it, thus avoiding any of the Edna Mode Prophesied Accidents
imagine being rose tyler and your hot butch boyfriend turns into a twink
Saying that a certain group of people is too privileged to complain about the way that things are is its own sort of defense of the status quo
Like if a white person from the American suburbs who had doctors for parents says "the suburbs are set up in a way that's designed to alienate the people within them from their neighbors growing up there can be an incredibly lonely isolating experience" and you respond with "shut up you had everything you ever wanted growing up" you are sort of pretending that this asocial way of living we've set up based on harmful ideas like castle doctrine and individualism is in some way desirable for someone when the reality of the situation is that everyone is miserable.
Oh boy this is popping off. But I just want to put on this post that this isn't just about the example that I used this is also when people get mad at you for complaining about aspects of living in America because other people are getting bombed by America how dare you, or when (usually neurodivergent) white people complain about how wasp monoculture is high key hostile to be raised in, or when people with middle class jobs complain about the shit their boss pulls, or any other number of situations in which a relatively privileged potential ally talks about the unique ways the oppressive systems we're looking to overthrow effects them negatively. Like yes sure if you have a minimum wage job it's annoying to listen to someone with a salary and benefits say "my boss treats me like shit and my company is doing x evil thing" but if you're in that situation and you're actually down for the cause instead of just here to play oppression Olympics, you want to gain allies in this fight by saying "have you considered unionizing" instead of pushing people away by saying "shut up at least you can afford rent"
The argument that people are too privileged too complain about their situation used to be exclusively one said by self identified conservatives, but generations of conservative propaganda has made it so people who call themselves leftists will repeat it word for word.
breaking: fetish opera just introduced cannibalism
Best sticker
Freakin’ awesome. We live in anaheim so our boys got to enjoy the all-access Disneyland Daily pass. Our youngest (Tanner) wanted to be an officer. Unfortunately he was too small for the restraints on splash mountain so when the coaster sped up it flung him out and he skidded about 200 feet on the asphalt. Here’s what we’re keeping him in right now:
Disney won’t let us bury on park grounds because of a potential copyright issue with the superman thing.
We miss him a lot, but there’s a cancellation fee on the Daily pass, so we’ve been making the most of it. His brother still enjoys the park and since we chose not to press charges, we’re entitled to one free mickey pancake a day
??? Reading that looked like you tried to copy abd paste 3 differint stories together to make us not realise you just copied and pasted??
First of all: splash mountain is a water log ride. There are no places where it just…speeds…up? Its a fucking water log ride???
BECAUSE its a water log ride it DOESNT HAVE RESTRAINTS….it DOES however have a minimum height requirment of 46 inches to ride the ride, so EVEN IF this kid was too small, they WOULD NOT let them ride.
There is no asphault anywhere near the track itself. The CLOSEST you could come is the big drop at rhe end but again, minimum height requirement of 46 inches tall to ride, the angle of the drop and the speed at which you go it is physically impossible to get ‘launched’.
I feel like this is obvious but theres so much obviously wrong about the second addition i suppose i need to state this.
SUPERMAN. ISNT. DISNEY. Superman is DC. The only theme parks that have licenced DC character based rides is six flags.
Six flags, another park that HAS MINIMUM HEIGHT REQUIREMENTS for rides.
That has restraints on rides in which are necesary. Which again, YOU CANNOT RIDE IF YOU DO NOT MEET THE SAFETY GUILDLINES.
Go try to shitpost and ruin the reputation of a differint park, will you? At least make sure your story is even plausable before you open your mis-informed mouth.
@crabwalker Are you seriously explaining to me how Splash Mountain works? Do you think I don’t remember how my son died? Oh, and it’s “physically impossible to get launched?” Guess what, asshole? My SON got launched. This is the last photo we have of him.
You’ve said some cruel things to me, but I’m going to be the bigger person. I’ll be praying, for your sake, that nobody in your family ever gets launched.
That photo is based off of a meme of this lady looking pissed. That and I can’t find an incident based off of what you posted. Shut the fuck up.
Why did you photoshop tanner out of that picture?
sad that there are still ignorant tanner denialists out there

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Werewolves are stereotyped as ravenous monsters because the transformations burn so many calories that they’re essentially starving afterwords. The more “controlled” werewolves are just the ones who figured this out and loaded up on calories beforehand, whereas the “wild” ones assume it’s part of their wolfish nature to hunt and eat whatever’s nearby.
The transformation back burns calories too, but by that point they’re exhausted from running around in the woods all night, not to mention the physical strain of two transformations. And filthy people showing up at Denny’s in the early morning are assumed to be hungover, so the ravenous beast idea is applied only to the wolf half.
are you suggesting people who eat at denny’s are essentially werewolves
not just essentially
Never forget what they took from us.
For those asking how it compares today
and also
Mid-year 2026 update (this is without tax):
Remember this the next time someone argues that raising the minimum wage will raise prices
to be clear, the U.S. federal minimum wage in 1999 was $5.15/hour, so a worker who made the minimum wage could buy the items on that receipt with 41 minutes of work.
in 2026, the federal minumum wage is $7.25, so a worker who makes minimum wage would have to work 95 minutes--more than twice as long--to buy those same items.
This week’s paw paintings by my sweet rats - all the rats did a great job!
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If you would like to commission your own rat paw painting, you can do so here: https://ratpaintings.etsy.com
“i walk your earth. i breathe your air.”
I love Capaldi's doctor so much!!
It's a tie between him and Matt Smith as my favorites.
I have the baseless headcanon that Mary Poppins is Maleficent.
Maleficent reforms sometime in the fourteenth century, greatly reduced. She wanders the countryside in the shape of a harridan, another bogeyman to warn children of.
The peasantry - who remember Maleficent as the fey who inexplicably sent her minions to inspect every cradle in the kingdom - think that she is another of these goblins.
They call her La Mauvaise Paysanne.
***
She arrives in England in the eighteenth century on the back of a fairy tale.
Fairies take the shape of the stories told about them. The myth has changed, and so has she. She takes the shape of an enchantress, the punisher of naughty children, the rewarder of the good.
The English people call her the Merry Peasant.
***
By the nineteenth century, the edges of her myth have been sanded off entirely. She’s known as a fairy godmother who blesses good children.
She doesn’t mind this, but when she gets the chance to reshape her wand, she gives it a crow’s head in memory of her old familiar.
They’ve started calling her Mary Pauper.
***
By the twentieth century, Mary Poppins is more powerful than she’s been in centuries.
She’s also changed completely. She understands this to her core, and mostly she’s fine with it.
She misses it every now and then, of course. The palace, the minions, the mistress of all evil. She sniffs and says these are are ridiculous thoughts, but she thinks them nevertheless.
This is partly why she enjoys being a nanny. It’s a good compromise. She can be strict but fair with her charges, and every now and then she meets a particularly incorrigible parent who she can curse into oblivion.

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chris fleming has done it again
this is VERY funny and I don't want to step on the gag but as a former food service worker I simply cannot NOT explain the place crushed Oreo cookies have in the service industry because I think it's really cool, actually
So Oreos! Truly a 100+ year old institution (although we can argue about whether Hydrox came first/are better but that's not what this is about). Oreo was manufacturing using pretty modern equipment very early on right here in beautiful Manhattan in the old Nabisco factory that is now Chelsea Market. But an unfortunate issue with mass producing millions of very thin, very fragile crisp cookies is breakage. A lot of the wafers (the chocolate part) will crack or crumble before reaching the end of the production line. The machinery can be adjusted to reduce breakage but the nature of the wafer means breakage will never be zero. Sometimes the cookie gets to the sandwiching stage & filled with the creme before it cracks, but more often it breaks before then. That's why you have some bits with creme and some without.
So what does a cookie company do with all the broken pieces? The dough is already cooked at that point so it can't be reused to form more cookies. So Oreo comes up with a plan: develop recipes and alternative uses so they can sell the crushed cookies, too. This happens a lot in manufacturing! Leftover bits are repurposed for other products to reduce waste and cost. Probably the most famous example is animal feed; the husks and rinds and cast-offs from human food production often get processed into animal food.
Sadly this means most commercial Oreo dust is a pre-crushed situation. I grew up working in my family's restaurant and the Oreo pieces would arrive in sealed plastic bag inside a big box. We'd use them for pie crusts and dessert toppings. Being a sneaky lil shit, I'd sometimes dip a soup spoon into the Oreo dust and take one big, chocolatey bite as a snack. No need to crush them by hand.
Sorry to add real-world facts to a very good bit. I just really love manufacturing. And cookies.
Hello friends we need to talk about this twitter account:
You might know him from a thread where he was getting wowed by free appetisers in a Mexican restaurant.
Firstly: He is doing a bit pretending to be a wandering samurai. It's a joke and his posts are all made up. This is very obvious if you actually look at his account and website:
He does purport to be Japanese but based on some of the other content he posts there's reason to believe he's British.
Which brings me to my second point: his Samurai content is interspersed with posts like this:
And this:
He is not cute or funny. Stop platforming him.