groping his bulge while heâs trying to complete important tasks and watching him slowly lose his focus <3
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groping his bulge while heâs trying to complete important tasks and watching him slowly lose his focus <3

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always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal
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I love how insane everyone is now.
I guess he doesnât love the color of the sky :(
today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet.Â
he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had âofficialâ and âunofficialâ mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years.Â
Icon.Â
donât forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him
Hey quick question what the fuck
the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is
victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years
RATING: đ¨ MOSTLY RELIABLE đ¨
Many articles make similar claims to those above. However, much of this information circulates without a clear source, and I have struggled to find reputable/high level sources for some of this information. Therefore, keep in mind that some of this may be exaggerated or potentially unreliable.
Obviously, I cannot account for the sexual of history of every human who has ever lived, but evidence does suggest that Victor Hugo had a⌠lively sex life.
From Medium: âSex was so involved in Hugoâs daily life that one biographer wrote the following while describing a typical day in Hugoâs life:
âIt was not unusual for him to make love to a young prostitute in the morning, an actress before lunch, a courtesan as an aperitif, and then join the also Âindefatigable Juliette for a night of sex.â
[âŚ] Hugo claimed that on the wedding night, he and his wife had sex nine times.â
His encoded sex diary is referenced on Wikipedia, but when I found an English translation of the source, I couldnât find where in it they were sourcing.
From Wikipedia: âHe systematically reported his casual affairs using his own code, as Samuel Pepys did, to make sure they would remain secret.â
The source is listed as: âHugo, Victor, Choses vues 1870â1885, p. 529, ISBNÂ 2070361411, pp. 371, 521 (n. 1).â
Iâve found Choses Vues here in the original French and here translated into English. If anyone can find anything in here about the encoded sex diary, please let me know!
His âofficial mistressâ is likely in reference to Juliette Drouet.
From EBSCO: âSince 1833, Hugo had maintained a liaison with a beautiful female actor, Juliette Drouet, who for twelve years followed a cloistered existence relieved only by six-week summer holidays with her lover.â
His âunofficial mistressâ is likely in reference to LĂŠonie dâAunet Biard.
From The Common Reader: âOverlapping was a seven-year affair with travel writer and Arctic explorer LĂŠonie dâAunet Biard, whose husband finally brought a police officer to the Paris hotel and caught them in flagrante.â
I have found articles that circulate the '200â claim, but none that give a source for the information.
From Medium: 'Not only that but he bedded 200 women in this hotel in just two years.â
The claim that brothels were closed on the day of his funeral is again circulated frequently without claim. The only sourced part of the claim I can find is a second hand report that sex workers had 'draped their gentials in black crepeâ.
From The Guardian: â[âŚ] when Hugo died the brothels of Paris closed down for a day of mourning, allowing all the cityâs sex workers to pay their last respects to a loyal client. Literary critic Edmond de Goncourt claimed a police officer told him that sex workers even draped their genitals in black crepe as a mark of respect.â
And an estimated 2 million people attended his funeral procession.
From Funeral Conflicts in Nineteenth-Century France: 'Two million people came to see Hugoâs body lying in state at the Arc de Triompheâ
Heâs now been dead for 141 years, although 133 was correct at the time of posting. How slutty those years are⌠I couldnât say.

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Take a sip, babes
Remember when Lil Nas X beautifully explored his sexuality, seduced and killed the devil to the banger of all time, and instead of cheering on this openly gay and proud Black artist for his artistry and fighting back against respectability politics, suddenly said respectability politics was all the Queerest Place on the Internet cared about? Hm. Wonder what happened there.
Anyway I miss him and hope he's doing better with his mental health đđž