I think white people in particular have a hard time recognizing that becoming a member of a marginalized or oppressed class does not
1) Grant you the experiences to speak on of everyone in that class
2) Unlearn the toxic rhetoric you were raised with
3) Keep you from enacting lateral violence or continuing to oppress others
When being inundated with attacks, restrictions on rights, and loss of opportunities it becomes harder than ever to acknowledge what things DID go right for you, what aspects of your life were and still are easier or benefitted from a specific privilege, areas where you are not the most at risk. It feels counter to the very real risk and loss you Are facing! Especially if you've always had aspects of it affecting your experiences and opportunities before you ever came out (ie being bullied for not acting your gender Correctly long before realizing you're not cis). It brings out the angry, scared child screaming "how can you say I had these chances, when I've been through-" - something made worse by the flattening of oppression and minority status to that of solely Attacker or Victim, either one who has everything against them or who's never experienced a real problem in their life.
It provokes a knee-jerk response to point out and generalize other minorities who've fallen for the very same trap - that it is easier to choose someone else to hate and blame, and hide behind your own shit experiences in defense of doing so, rather than do the work of unlearning the hate and the blame to move towards solidarity and a solution. Then there's the pull to compare, to say who has it better or worse, even within your own community. And if only the true victim can be believed, can be relieved of consequence for their actions and words due to what they've been through, you must be one of the ones who's had it WORST - and those who are even a little bit different than you must have an opposite experience.
But that is not reality. The reality is, that no matter how valid your pain and rage and fear, it does not excuse your actions or words from consequence. It does not do the work of unlearning what you were raised with, or listening and learning the experiences of those being affected by oppression in similar and different ways. It does not remove you from rehearsing the very same attacks and disbelief and marginalization that were inflicted on you.
You have to listen, and you have to do the work. You have to accept your capacity for harm, and realize that not doing so makes you dangerous. You have to step outside of the binary of victimhood, and using it to justify and wash away your mistakes and damage you cause. It is the only way. The alternative is to live by and for the very oppression you suffer from, and we see it destroy and weaken our communities again and again and again in those who will not learn and do the work.
2087
amandla
pixelskylines
ellievsbear
stormborns
titsay
