Phoenix Rising AKA This Shit is Weird

Do a vibe check on your piece (aka form... ish) Feel out how long you want your one-shot to be. Mine usually land between 4-7k words which is about average for a short story and I'm a yapper. And if you're anything like me I don't mean plan the word count to the single digits, but have a vague idea somewhere in your mind if it's going to be a tiny little snapshot of an intense moment, in which case you probably want to go with flash fiction, or if it feels like you need more words to say what you want to say. Then once you start writing throw that idea out of the window because it's going to come out however it comes out and suddenly what you thought was only going to be 1000 words has ballooned into a 15k monstrosity and... you get the picture. Right?

Steal stuff* Not actual plagiarism!!! What the fuck is wrong with you??? I mean go back to your favourite one-shots by other authors (or maybe yourself, no shaming narcissism here I love my work) (that's a lie I am cripplingly insecure about my writing please validate me) and work out what you like about them. Is it the language? Characterisation? Structure? Theme? Really really hot smut that made your insides go 'ghdslsndjknsdfhhhh'? Chances are you're drawn to a specific technique or element of the craft and don't even know it. If you don't know force your fellow writer friends to read them and then grill them relentlessly about what they liked and then violently disagree with their obviously wrong tastes. Best way to work out what you like, imo. Then once you've done that you'll have an idea about what works for you, so you can do it your way. NOT COPYING.

Pick a theme or two Alright alright it's probably a decent idea to narrow down what you're writing about to a theme or set of central ideas of some kind. For me this is usually 'pegging' or 'face sitting' or 'spanking' or 'tentacles', but you go nuts with whatever inspires you. Then, for funsies, layer another theme on top. Like 'shame', or 'rebellion' or 'grief' or 'the auto-cannibalistic features of late-stage capitalism'. Even better if it's a theme that's a core feature of one or more of your characters. Example: first theme 'werewolf sex', second theme 'boredom'. Maybe one of the characters is really boring and beige and meeting and fucking a werewolf is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to them. Or maybe it's not and it happens all the time and they need to do something to break out of the rut? (heh, rut) (iykyk) Or MAYBE the werewolf is the boring one and the MC can only stand being around them because the sex is so good and it's the only time they stop talking about crypto?! See, three different short stories already waiting to be written for you right there. Have these prompts. They're for you. Enjoy them.

You don't need to explain everything, or actually anything at all The great thing about a one-shot is you don't have to explain shit to anybody. You're already in the Situation, and your readers are just going to have to deal.

"I can't believe you're horny right now!" Verbenia yelled, clawing at her leg. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you missed that trap on purpose!" Arblerboth sighed, sheepishly adjusting his unfortunate erection. With hindsight, the bear trap had been pretty obvious. He wasn't sure how either of them hadn't noticed the moment they stepped into the cave.

See what I did there? No explanation for why they're in a cave, why they're travelling together, what they're up to, or about Arblerboth's secret bear-trap fetish (it's about the trap not the blood it's a pretty unusual fetish but hey rule 34). But you were invested, right? All the world-building and intricate dynamics and stuff are for you and with a short story they stay as inside thoughts, to be expressed through character action and interaction with the setting - which you also don't have to explain because they're already there. This goes double for fanfiction because everyone reading it will already know the world and setting and characters and you don't need to rehash it.

Now here's where I told a big lie about that last piece of advice because I once spent 2k words explaining how my MC created a magical strap-on before I even got to her pegging anyone with it. But I guess I didn't explain the magic system she was using to make it? Idk.

Google 'how to write a short story' I'm actually serious with this one, there's a ton of excellent articles and resources out there by some brilliant published writers who have written some fantastic short stories. If you're too lazy to type out that sentence c&p it from this post. Take the advice you like and leave the rest.

and finally... WRITE IT.

Soz. You have to do writing to be good at the writing. Sucks, doesn't it?

So there it is, take it or leave it, I'm just someone on tumblr with a keyboard and way too much time on my hands. I'm sorry this post isn't full of easy to action but ultimately meaningless unhelpful clickbait points like "limit the timeline" (you can write an amazing one-shot that spans decades) or "choose one emotion" (we contain multitudes, apparently, have you heard of meta-emotions? Get ready to have your feelings blown out your ass baby), or "use a 3-part/act structure" (there are many different structures to drama - what about 5 parts? or 2? Go check out Aristophanes he's got some wild shit to show you, what a madlad), or "write like it's the last thing you'll ever write" (if this is the last thing I ever write then I hope whatever kills me is fucking awesome like teaching a shark to jet ski while wielding a longsword or something because no way this was worth it) (actually the salt water of the ocean would be really bad for a longsword that's a horrible idea).