You Know

I was conceived around the time that movie was released and I need you to know that for a terrifying minute I thought you were implying there was a correlation between those things

I need you to know I laughed so hard it woke my cat up

what is a normal amount of photos to have on your phone. probably 28,000 right

These are the most fuckable bookshelves I’ve ever seen

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hello friends, does anyone know what's good right now in contemporary children's fiction suitable for a 5 year old? she has apparently been enjoying Roald Dahl and Enid Blyton.

when a character with medical trauma gets injured and has to be coaxed into letting someone else take care of them. when they have to be calmed down before their wounds can even be looked at. when the entire process of being treated is an exercise in agonizing vulnerability, because they have to trust someone else to care for them without hurting them. that’s all thank you.

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

That one is porple

Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.

That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.

Please stop reblogging this, if it ends up on Tiktok some teenybopper is gonna call me bad ace representation.

now that that ship has sailed, can we come up with a term for this sort of thing (two people having sex, while a third indirectly assists)? because I don't think it really sounds like a threesome. it's more like a 2.5some, but that's a terrible name.

the immediate answer is 'benefits, with Friend'.

A big part of being a quadruped is being able to just lie down anytime. Waiting? Loaf time. Talking to someone shorter than you? Loaf time. Falling asleep in the sun? Loaf time. Bored? Loaf it up till something interesting happens. Leg hurt? Loaf time.

There really is a game people are playing and I don’t know I just I just don’t know how to participate

damn people rly hate type 2 diabetics don't they

also worth saying diabetes is a complex reaction to a not-yet-fully-understood set of factors and environmental pressures and genetics and it's reductive and fatphobic to say fat=diabetes BUT EVEN SO no matter if someone did incontrovertibly "give themself diabetes" that's not a free pass for dehumanization. shut upppp