Dot

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

The funniest version of bloodymary, to me, is where Adrian finds Simon entirely separately and has to go through their own ordeal of bonding with a sad traumatized squishy wet human while wondering how their partner's going to react. And then when Rocky gets back theyre both nervously llike. Hey babe. So there's something I have to show u,,,,, also you're gonna have to get cool about a lot of things real fast. Meanwhile simon and Grace are sniffing at each other like two cats being introduced through a bathroom door

Old man, sitting in the pool steps reading his book

UNRESTRAINED SUMMER FUN

I feel we bloodymaries overlook one key detail when depicting the boys and it’s that Simon has the Softest most Wettest eyes in the universe and that needs to be exploited more

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

HELLO???

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

anyways (I say this as someone who is deeply critical of the united states government, military, unchecked capitalism, police, etc) I am SICK of people treating america as if it has no cultural value or positives so….. I love u 85 million acres (bigger than italy) of national parks. I love u harlem renaissance. I love u groundhogs day. I love u sweet tea and fried chicken and jambalaya. I love u apple cider donuts and maizes on crisp autumn days. I love u 95k miles of coastlines and new england fisherman and hand knitted sweaters. I love u halloween where millions of people dress up and give candy to strangers and carve jack o’lanterns. I love u small talk and small towns and potlucks and bringing over casseroles to your struggling neighbors. I love u cowboys and ranch hands and arizonian cactus. I love u appalachian trail and dirtbikes and divebars. I love u sparklers and fireflies. I love u mark twain and toni morrison and emily dickinson and henry david thoreau. I love u rock n roll i love u bluegrass and hippies i love u jimi hendrix and nirvana and CCR and janis joplin. I love u victorian houses and jonny appleseed and john henry and mothman and bigfoot. I love u foggy days in the pacific northwest and neon signs and roadside attractions. I love u baseball and 1950s diners and soft serve. I love u native american art and pop art and poptarts. I love u blue jeans and barbecues and jazz musicians 

Actually, yeah. I’m an American, so I would just be adding to the stuff above, but non-American followers, what do you love about your country that has nothing to do with politicians, but feels like goodness and home to you? Animals or plants or foods that make you think, “Oh, wow, they’ve got X!” or customs or gatherings or clothes or any silly little thing. Our delight in little human things transcends our fucking idiot governments, and that goes for everyone.