Dot

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

The funniest version of bloodymary, to me, is where Adrian finds Simon entirely separately and has to go through their own ordeal of bonding with a sad traumatized squishy wet human while wondering how their partner's going to react. And then when Rocky gets back theyre both nervously llike. Hey babe. So there's something I have to show u,,,,, also you're gonna have to get cool about a lot of things real fast. Meanwhile simon and Grace are sniffing at each other like two cats being introduced through a bathroom door

Old man, sitting in the pool steps reading his book

UNRESTRAINED SUMMER FUN

I feel we bloodymaries overlook one key detail when depicting the boys and it’s that Simon has the Softest most Wettest eyes in the universe and that needs to be exploited more

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

HELLO???

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich