The Ninja

if cis people are so great then why don’t they have a siberian orchestra 

their teens built a pretty good chapel though

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

My hottest fanfiction take is I think people should stop posting multi-fandom oneshots as a single fic with like 50+ chapters and instead post them as individual fics

You are either going to the bathroom with me or going to the bathroom against me

Ugh, I keep getting emails and they're not even from AO3

boss makes a dollar i make a dime that's why i work at the us mint

hi I work at the treasury and my boss really liked this post

lifetime ban from the boba shop for ordering a kiki tea

"grackle" really is a perfect name for a bird. knocked it out of the park w/ that one

pokemon blood and pokemon bone where you osmosis jones your way through some creature to discover microscopic pokemon

this but they’re the sole source of disease in the Pokemon universe

*doctor places stethoscope on my chest* “Good news and bad news: here’s the good news, I can hear it chanting it’s own name, so diagnosis is easy. The bad news is… you’ve got tuberculosa.”

did you guys hear about the nudist who went to chernobyl?

he got charged with exposure 😎

he’s, uh, fucking dead. 😎