my own private ontario 😳

but shane can’t stop thinking about it. he rolls it around in his head, such a sweet name for such a sweet boy. that night, he has ilya sit across from him on the bed, tells him to stay still. shane’s looking at him intently, brow furrowed, the lines of his face drawn tight, he’s so focused. ilya’s half laughing when shane takes ilya’s face in his hands, —“so serious my love,”— but the amusement dies in his throat when shane presses a kiss to ilya’s forehead, murmurs ilyusha, so quietly at first he’s sure he’s only imagined it. but then shane moves to the right side of his face, ghosts a kiss against the shell of his ear, ilyusha. again, beneath his left eye, ilyusha. his nose, ilyusha. his trembling mouth, ilyusha. his name from another life, a past of burned bridges, a childhood cut short.

$ $ $

Just making use of my free will

JENKINS: I feel like the first 80–85 minutes or so of the film is the telling of a story where the characters are advancing in age: eight, ten, twelve years of age at a time in each chapter. So we’re rapidly building this portrait. For example, the two longest shots in the film are when Chiron is in the parking lot outside the diner. He pulls up in his car, gets out, puts on his shirt, combs his hair, and then starts walking across the parking lot towards the door. Then there’s the shot of the door’s bell ringing that shifts to a gliding camera shot. It’s a very Hou Hsiao-Hsien–influenced shot that is a camera movement perpendicular to the action in one continuous moment. Then there’s that close-up when Chiron sees Kevin’s face for the first time and then we match it. From that point on the character has been built and now the character has to finally make a choice. He must decide who he is going to be as the film shifts into real time. I think the diner scene really resonates with people because you’ve grown so accustomed to the character advancing through time but now Chiron has to sit there opposite someone who’s actually allowing [him] the space. The world is always projecting this idea of who a black man is while there is always the performance of black masculinity. You see Chiron dealing with that over the course of the film. Then he walks into Kevin’s home, the diner, and Kevin dominates that space but in a very tender way, a very gentle way. So, you’re right. This is when the cycle of questions begins but they are never asked aggressively and there’s never really a single or direct answer to these questions.

he's ilya's dog when he's trying to anticipate all of ilya's needs and give them to him at the cottage and then waiting nice and still to be told what ilya wants next. he's ilya's dog even when they're having sex their regular way (by which i mean the d/s way) and he's following ilya's orders.

he's ilya's dog when he's letting ilya pet him and calm him down and let him stay on his knees when he's overwhelmed. he's ilya's dog when he's in the bathroom following orders for the sake of following orders and the reward isn't what he thinks he will get but what ilya wants to give him and is satisfying to him anyways.

when hes looking to obey an order and do it Perfectly Right Without Any Mistakes he's ilya's dog. when he's upset and snapping at ilya, trying to start a fight so that he can be muzzled, he's ilya's dog.