Welcome To Trash Town

i still think chuck tingle is brandon sanderson

🤔

following people who are into wrestling is just like "holy shit johnny appleseed just hit burner hurtzog (evil artfilm director-themed wrestler) with the Prostate Puncher 5000! can't fucking stand that guy!" like all day long

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it

it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

We go through a lot of pickles here and this recipe is a good way to use leftover brine.

Literally gonna be me omw to dashcon

i hope girls think i’m funny and hot

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space