forever a weirdo

"You have a team?" Robert snarked as Chase scoffed. The first file had loaded in, labeled "LEADER" with a blackout silhouette.

"Do you think I sit around with my thumb up my butt!? I dispatch a damn good team." Chase loaded the other files. "LIEUTENANT," "MORAL COMPASS," "HEAVY HITTER," and "BRAINS," popped up as well with the silhouettes blacked out. Robert had seen Team Units before: this was going to be difficult.

"Great, a five man band," A team of five specialists with their own power sets strong enough to make any sane villain run for the hills.

Robert clicked on the leader's profile.

"Yeah, and the lead singer is this young pain in the ass here."

Feedback: an early twenties, heavy set man with bleach blonde curls and pointed sunglasses that could rival Flambae's. He looked like an eighties rocker with his bright red vest and arm bands full of spikes. His stats were balanced but skewed towards Combat, Charisma, and Intellect.

"Let me guess, musical powers?" Robert scrolled through his file. Lyrical Hypnosis, voice mimicry, and diagetic sound, not exactly what Robert expected for a team leader.

"'Diagetic sound?'"

"He plays music, literally. Comes out of fucking nowhere and everyone hears it. Normally it's some instrumental shit to 'inspire his team' but I've heard him pull out Sir Mixalot in the middle of a fucking battle." Chase let out a half chuckle.

"Kid's got a killer fucking voice, strong as hell too, but he cries just as much as wet-boy and has a soft spot for his team."

"Sounds like a blast." Robert rolled his eyes and grabbed a notepad, scribbling down Feedback's hero name and stats before moving onto the Lieutenant profile.

Timepiece: a mid thirties woman with the longest brown hair Robert had seen on a hero, her eyes were hidden behind a pair of clock-face glasses. Her uniform was what happened when the 1970s blue disco suits met early 2000s spy shows. Timepiece's stats triangulated around Mobility, Intellect, and Charisma.

"Timepiece, snarky as hell and late for every meeting but she's the nicest woman you'll ever meet." Chase was actually smiling at her profile, fondly even. Robert had seen that look once before.

"Does she turn your clock back? Give you a little arm squeeze?" Her listed abilities were time manipulation, time projection, and temporal space creation.

"Shut your fuck up." Grumpy Chase was back and Robert suppressed his chuckle as he copied down Timepiece's stats. He scrolled onto the "Moral Compass" of the team.

Gummi Bear: an early twenties creature with shiny green skin and darker green "hair." He was a slime man, built like a strongman broader than Phenomaman. He didn't wear a shirt so his massive pecs and biceps were on display with his crooked smile and round stomach. Gummi's stats were focused on Vigor and Combat, big and strong. He was the only member with a redacted criminal past.

"This virtually indestructible dumb-ass has jello for a brain but a heart of gold. He's very soothing to the team but keep him away from fire and ice, you don't want him splitting since it takes him for fucking ever to regenerate." Chase handed Robert a fresh mug of coffee, copying down Gummi Bear's stats.

"Why are his charges blocked?" Robert pulled up the code, scanning through the lines to wedge his way through but Chase put a hand on the mouse.

"Gummi's past is better left in the dark. Trust me." Chase grumbled and clicked on the next profile, the Heavy Hitter. If the giant slime wasn't the big guy, Robert was curious who was.

Big Chungus wasn't close to Robert's top ten guesses. A young man, barely out of high school, with his hair twists pulled back into a low ponytail. He was lean, built more like a swimmer than a powerhouse, with a medallion around his neck and a vest longer than the crop-top of his hero suit. His Combat and Mobility were nearly maxed out with Vigor close behind.

"That little shit is a legacy hire. Chungus comes from a long line of world protecting summoners but all he does is summons big ass memes to fight for him." Chase shook his head. Robert copied down the stats, eyeing the powers.

"'Avatar summoning and Enhanced Physicality.' Sounds like a real gem." Robert clicked on the last file, the brains of the group.

Vivid Sketcher, a young woman in her twenties with medium length brown hair pulled into a braid. Her super suit was covered in paint splatters, from her cropped hood to her skater skirt, complete with a bandolier of glass ornaments with drawings captured inside. Vivid's stats were near-maxed with her Intellect, Charisma and Vigor taking second and third priority.

"As you can fucking guess, Vivid Sketcher's got art powers. Anything she draws can become reality when she animates them." Chase explained her listed powers: Animation, Artistic Combat, and Art Materialization.

"That sounds… busted." Robert underlined his notes with Vivid's powers.

"It is. But she's fifteen pounds of anxiety and whoop-ass in a five pound bag." Chase ejected the disc, folding it away to the case and returning it to the filing cabinet.

"Oh. She'll get along great with Waterboy then." Robert gathered the files, peaking through the physical copies and still finding information blocked or missing. The team came from the corners of America, and for Timepiece, the middle of Australia. A sixth file was present, but emptied out.

"What's the deal with this last one: Four Runner?" Robert read the hero name half-scribbled out. Chase tensed.

"His name was Sean and he was the leader before his untimely leave. He personally vouched for Feedback to take his place and while the boy knows his shit, they all need a guiding hand after Sean's absence." Chase snatched the empty file and put it away with the disc.

"Just don't bring it up with the Team, it's a touchy subject and they're all willing to throw hands over it."

"Noted." Robert copied it down onto his note page. "So where's the team now? Preparing for your leave?"

"I sent them down to the Hero Pool to get adjusted to the Z Team. They don't cause much trouble. Should be a walk in the park after dealing with the nonsense that came with motherfucking Shroud."

Chase and Robert walked together to the Hero pool: the waiting area for teams and heroes to be sent out from. It had direct access to the garage and take-off decks. It wasn't far from the Bullpen and Records room but it was on the first floor.

"Trust me Robert, all they need is a firm hand and a direct order. Easiest damn thing." As the two walked, Chase went over his team a little more. Every single pairing had synergy with each other, more hesitant to separate since they've always operated as a group. Four Runner acted like a father more than a mentor, but even he played favorites. Sean had been personally responsible for Gummi Bear's appearance on the team and had encouraged Big Chungus to keep being creative with his solutions. Of course Four Runner originally synergized with Feedback, but favored to work with Timepiece on tricky situations. Vivid Sketcher was the last one added to the group and worked overtime shifts with Four Runner directly, she had grown very close to their past leader but was the best friend to Feedback.

"So they're like a co-dependent, superhero family that lives in other apartments. That'll be fun to dispatch on top of my nine-player team." Robert shifted the files in his hands, scribbling out his potential synergy lines in his notes. Chase scoffed.

"Most of them live together too. At least Gummi, Vivid, and Feedback are in one apartment. Timepiece is on the same floor in their building and Chungus still lives with his mama." Their conversation slowed to a halt. The Hero Pool was down the hallway, with a familiar pounding EDM soundtrack shaking the dirt from the SDN carpet.

"Is that the fucking Blade soundtrack?" Robert pocketed his notes, tucking his files under one arm.

"Goddamn it- Feedback!" Chase rushed forward and pushed the door to the Hero Pool open, showing off pure chaos inside. The five heroes that Robert just been lore dumped on had been locked in combat with the entirety of Z Team, Invisigal included despite the fact that she wasn't supposed to be in the Hero Pool. The Blade Theme was in fact blaring from nowhere, but the beat matched the beat down happening right in front of them.

Timepiece was blasted by Waterboy upon her perch of Sonar's mega-bat shoulders. She squeezed her dripping wet thighs around Sonar's neck, squeezing as the bat bucked and accidentally knocked Waterboy into a group of chairs. Timepiece stayed put, yanking at the gray fur and growling insults at the bat-hybrid.

Vivid Sketcher, shorter than Robert thought, was sitting on top of an unconscious Invisigal. She had the other woman by the jacket, shaking her fist and yelling when Phenomaman scooped her up and held her high above the other hero. Vivid was clawing at his impenetrable skin, biting into his hand and trying to break through anyways. She reminded Robert of a feral raccoon or Beef when someone had salami.

Big Chungus was on the floor, Coupe standing above him with her foot planted on his shoulder when a giant, fat Rat wearing golden arm bands and a Grecian loincloth latched onto her leg and weighed her down. Punch Up had been dealing with a giant rabbit, gray and twice Colm's size, wearing the same arm bands and loincloth. The rabbit grabbed the Irishman by his suspenders and sent Punch Up flying across the room.

Gummi Bear was covering his eyes, his free hand swiping a gargantuan fist at Prism. The heroine rolled out of the way, sending laser beams towards the slime but the thick, green skin blocked her attack. Golem stepped up, and Gummi lunged for the construct, landing a hit onto the clay body and getting pulled towards Golem's earthen reach. The slime and construct clay intertwined, Prism getting caught in the crossfire and pulled into the middle of the monstrous embrace of two power houses, sticking out to breath but her arms trapped between two big guys.

Flambae laid out cold in the middle of the floor, Feedback stepped over him to stop Malevola from swinging at Timepiece, now perched on a passed-out Sonar.

Feedback locked in combat with Malevola. His cane, fashioned with a blade like end, clashed with her sword, both struggling to get an upper hand. The music was louder as the two fought between pairs, clashing into the middle of the hero pool when Feedback looked up, making eye contact with Chase and- Malevola disarmed him, her own sword dropping in the process. She brought Feedback to the ground, he rolled out of her grasp with a huff, clinging to his ribs and staring at the dispatchers. Malevola wrangled him into a choke hold before following his gaze, her face paling as the music stopped.

"What the fuck are you all doing!?" Chase yelled, hands on his hips. The fights ceased, Timepiece waved to Chase from her seat, covering her still wet chest. Phenomaman landed, Vivid kicked him and promptly fell over, grabbing her leg in pain. Coupe dropped her hold on Chungus and the summoned Rabbit and Rat faded away in a flash of golden sparkles. Gummi turned his head to see the dispatchers, shaking as he tried to pry himself from the clay grasp. They seemed stuck. Feedback managed to throw Malevola over his shoulder, the demoness landing with a thump. The blonde looked up, glasses askew.

"Hey, boss…es." Feedback rasped, holding his throat. Chase's deep set frown practically made Feedback bow his head and tuck his metaphorical tail.

"I'm guessing that we're in trouble?"

"Big. Fucking. Trouble."