Team Freelancer, Bitch @themaliciousravioli - Tumblr Blog

Friendly reminder that I do not reblog donation posts unless I know the person or a friend of mine does, so please stop following me just to send me yours because I will assume you are a bot/scammer and block you.

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nyasm

thestuffedalligator

“When we were kids, the Phonics Wizard came to our town to show off how the letter E can change the sounds of vowels. He turned a can into a cane, a pin into a pine. This one kid had a cap and he changed it into a cape, that kind of thing.

“And we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-”

She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. “Things got pretty bad after that,” she muttered. “I know it’s silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We don’t know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if she’s even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when I’m out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didn’t - didn’t really take that well.”

After a moment, she put the ball of twine back onto its pillow. “Anyways. They tried to arrest the Phonics Wizard, but he had a plan in case something went wrong and he turned it into a plane and flew away.”

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

heard someone say "who even owns a rolling pin anymore" and my brain froze trying to process it. what does that mean. are u implying rolling pins are outdated technology? did we come up with a shiny new 21st century method of flattening dough of which i remain uninformed? is there now an app on the app store people are using instead??? im losing my mind "who even owns a rolling pin" people who BAKE

alphacrone

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

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myjourneywithfnd

I saw a video today from a chronically ill woman about the fact you can feel so guilty when doing fun things.

She talks about how, as a kid, you learn to finish work before you can play and that you take this with you into adulthood. So you keep the mindset of having to finish 'have to' tasks/chores before being allowed to 'play'.

But when you're chronically ill, this is literally impossible! If you'd do that it would be all work and never play. That wouldn't be healthy at all. We need to remind ourselves of this. We don't need to feel guilty for doing something fun!

crowboy-bebop

oh my fucking god

radiostaticbambi

All the Wikipedia editors, and everyone else, right now:

slightly-gay-pogohammer

hey gang i got popsicles pick one as pass the box to someone else

mint

lemon

orange

strawberry

cola

pineapple

dark cherry

anise

Remaining time: 3 days 5 hours

"i cant believe you dont have this or that flavor" listen they had these ones okay

gallusrostromegalus

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

starathsbunker

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

gallusrostromegalus

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

spin-the-wheel-polls

Poof! You’re a mermaid now. Spin to get a type of mermaid! How we feeling about this?

You have been turned into this type of mermaid!!

What do you think?

I love it!!

it's alright

Ew

EW

oh cool I didn't know this type existed!!

Result/other

Remaining time: 22 hours 41 minutes

(I do not know much about mermaids, forgive me if I made any mistakes. Do not drown me.)

#koi mermaid #hell yes

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queerautism

Hey so as the economy continues to get worse in the next few years, gambling companies are going to go extra hardcore predatory as people become more desperate. Yes, even more than they already are. You have to promise me right now you're not going to fall for it. No gambling, okay?

This is going to be especially bad with prediction markets and sports gambling, and it's already really fucking bad. But it also goes for loot boxes, blind box collectables, trading card games, and ESPECIALLY gacha games.

#never get a blind box unless you're cool with any option or you've budgeted for it

gatesofminrathous

there will never be anything as funny as the mutual disbelief between long form and short form fic writers about each other's style.

short form writers look at people writing 100k+ fics as though this is some sort of talent given as part of a fae bargain, that the commitment required shows some sort of ungodly mental fortitude.

meanwhile long form writers look at people writing 1000 word one shots like god I would cut off my left nipple to be able to say anything concisely. i would love to play with multiple ideas. free me from the shackles of this child I have birthed. i love them but I now must take them to t-ball and doctor's appointments and they're going to destroy everything I own.

Roses

Clematis

#beautiful

himekokosu

Dahlia

#beautiful

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming